


An Embarking

by dirtygsanchez



Series: Pyramid-Scheme [8]
Category: Gravity Falls, Rick and Morty
Genre: Aftercare, Anal Sex, Angst, Bondage, Caning, Fluff, Love, M/M, Oral Sex, Painplay, Rough Sex, Sex, Skull Fucking
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-12
Updated: 2017-05-12
Packaged: 2018-10-31 01:12:17
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 21,808
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10888728
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dirtygsanchez/pseuds/dirtygsanchez
Summary: Pyramid-Scheme SeriesThis a turn-about Roleplay fiction originally written on tumblr between @bill-rick (Bill Cipher now inhabiting a Rick Sanchez body) and @evilgsanchez ('Evil' Rick Sanchez). Through roleplay we have built up a 40 year relationship for the pair and this compiled fiction following their unplanned reunion as detailed in the "Big Dark Love" thread/fic.Evil Rick has purchased a cabin for he and Bill to spend time in as both of their respective husbands are outraged at their reunion. The two haven't share a bed since New Orleans and discounting their hurried encounter the night before haven't indulged in sexual exploits in over a year. Must more notably the two haven't share any proper intimacy for around seven years, prior to when Bill left. This is therefore an important part of their story.





	An Embarking

**An Embarking**

Evil Rick still looked tired, dark circles a little darker, new worry lines creasing his eyes and even after a shave he couldn’t seem to shift that lingering five o’clock shadow that reflected his recent sleepless nights and troubled days. He’d precariously balanced his entire life on a knife edge and although it didn’t look like that knife was about to slip and gut him quite yet, he still wasn’t entirely convinced that everything was going to work out exactly as he wanted. Self-inflicted injuries always cut the deepest; the demon had slipped a knife into his heart, sure, but he was the one that had refused to withdraw it, letting it bury deeper and deeper year after year. He was under no illusion that to try and wrench it from himself now would cause him to immediately begin to bleed out.    
Washing his face he smoothed his hands through his hair and paused to study his reflection, Christ he just wanted to punch the mirror; he abhorred weakness and that was exactly what he felt;  _weak._  He was  _nervous_  for Christ sake, such nervousness could only come from that need to seek approval from another,  _no_ , it was more than that; it was validation he sought, an affirmation of his own worth, denied for so long. His own need disgusted him, but he refused to ignore it any longer, it had always been like this,  _always._

Walking out of the bathroom he slipped on his lab coat, checked he had cigarettes in his pocket and programmed in the Co-ordinates for [ **‘Chicken Point’.**](http://t.umblr.com/redirect?z=http%3A%2F%2Ftwistedsifter.com%2F2010%2F05%2Fchicken-point-cabin-olson-kundig%2F&t=MzIxMDg4OTM5ZDc4MjEwODdlMTU3Yjk3OWU4YzQxMzE0NTA3ODEyYyxnZEFKMXFKSg%3D%3D&b=t%3Av3yzHBA2_mkbV6eiXgbyig&p=http%3A%2F%2Fbill-rick.tumblr.com%2Fpost%2F156376017457%2Fan-embarking&m=0) He’d briefly considered changing the name when he bought the place but it had made him chuckle so much he’d decided to keep it as it was. He’d visited the place a couple of hours earlier, to stock the house with booze and food but he’d been in and out so quickly he’d hardly had time to see the place. He’d not only bought the building, he’d bought everything in it too, shopping for soft furnishings, cups and cutlery just felt too fucking…. _domestic_. He smirked at the thought as he extended his arm to rip open a bright emerald void which he immediately stepped straight through. 

Emerging at the other side onto some wooden decking, he instantly raised his arm to block out the bright sun which was now fairly low in the sky. The air was crisp and cold and he stood for a moment looking out over the vast lake, sometimes he forgot that he spent most of his time in a deeply buried subterranean lair built on a desolate planet within limited sun. This place was in the middle of nowhere, no other properties around for miles and the silence was spectacular. There was always something mechanical buzzing or humming in the lair, a noise that he enjoyed admittedly, but here there was only the slight lap of water and the noise of birds overhead. He looked up, were they ever birds…they looked more like winged lizards….he really had to research more about this planet. He glanced around at the trees immediately remembering how much he had criticised Bill for buying a log cabin surrounded by pines, calling him a redneck hick bastard, his eyes crinkled as he smiled at the memory. 

[Text from Ricky] I can’t believe I bought a place surrounded by fucking trees, what the fuck is wrong with me? This is your fault. If I ever buy a lumberjack shirt I want you to shoot me in the fucking face. 

[Text from Ricky] I’m here. Don’t keep me waiting. I’ve waited long enough.

\-----------------------

Bill took a long look in the mirror, staring with wide, brimming pools of gold that studied and analyzed every  _critical_  detail - the smoothed lapels of his coat, the prim folds of his collar, the slicked silver and black hair atop his head. He found only a single strand out of place, promptly licking a finger and tucking it back. Curse these Ricks and their blasted bald spots. Sure, he was old himself… But if anyone wanted to get technical, the demon had stunted at 30 for the last few trillion years.

A frown came over the demon’s face, his scrutinizing stare falling upon the ever-growing bags under his eyes. They would remain there, that much he knew - insistent on their miserable existence until Cipher managed to give his body a full night’s rest. Whenever  _that_  would be. He was wired, to put it lightly, pumping with adrenaline from the last few days, from what was in store for the next  _many_  days. Bill and Evil Rick didn’t normally  _have_  this form of intimacy between them, it was stripped from them so long ago and as years passed the memories of it were all they held, all that managed to keep them together. The demon knew there was still a  _shred_  of something, at the very least. It was evident by the way he had continued to confide in his longtime companion despite all of the bullshit between them, the way he caught himself looking at him when he spoke or blew smoke rings into the air of his bar, and most of all by the way he had never stopped protecting him,  _watching_ him and whatever was his, expressing his rightful place by his side whenever other beasts had tried to snatch it. 

And  _now…_  Well now they had made themselves a way to rediscover each other and salvage what they once had between them. Cipher had learned two things from that one night of indulgence: that their bond had not been extinguished, but had instead lied dormant, waiting to erupt to life once again… And that such an eruption had left mass destruction in its wake.

Bill was pulled from his trance by the vibration of his phone in his pocket. A smile spread across his features, not hesitating even a second to type a reply.

[Text from Billy] Maybe I’ll hold my axe to your throat instead of a knife this time, tough guy.

[Text from Billy] You’re so fucking gay. Be right there.

A grin widened on his face, the first in a number of days. Its absence was so utterly strange to the demon, so unlike himself. To have it back felt like a good omen on this… This which both he and Evil Rick had compromised so much to have again. Already, it was worth it.

He grabbed the last few necessities- a pack of Camels, a decanter of his partner’s favorite scotch for a housewarming gift, his pocket knife, and a half-empty bottle of Vicodin. He stared at the pills for a few moments, popping the cap off to swallow a couple capsules before he tucked the bottle into his coat- Didn’t need the damn leg ruining anything, that was for sure.

The yellow portal snapped shut behind Cipher once he’d stepped through, hobbling over to the other with the booze in one hand and his cane in the other. With each step, his gaze flickered to another item of decor, another piece of furniture in admiration. He adored this place already- because it was secluded, because it was quiet, because it was  _theirs._

Having managed to cross the room as quickly as he could manage, Bill greeted the other with a tight embrace and a kiss to the side of his temple. He had so much to say, yet the words caught in his throat. All he could mutter was a simple greeting.

_“Hi, Rick.”_

_\--------------------------_

Feeling his cell phone rumble, Evil Rick glanced at the text; the words on the screen instantly caused him to imagine Bill pressing the thick, sharp blade of his axe to his throat, the demon’s pupils flooding blood red as he offered him a snarling smile that whispered sweet perverse nothings. He coughed to clear his throat and also his mind, achieving the former but definitely not the latter. The next text made him chuckle and shrug his shoulders, honestly, he couldn’t really argue with that, could he?

Staring out across the water he thrust his hands into his pockets and pulled his lab coat around him as a cool breeze rushed through his hair. The front of the house was a glass wall which could be entirely raised and currently was, it gave the strange experience of standing both outside and inside the house at the same time and he rather liked it. Evil Rick was not ‘outdoorsy’ in the least but he was fully aware the demon had a particular affinity with nature so he’d tried to strike an amicable balance between the two.

Hearing the unmistakable sound of a portal opening he looked down at his feet witnessing a bright yellow light briefly cast shimmers over the wooden deck. Turning he watched Bill walk towards him, already noticing the demon was limping a little more than usual. Unconsciously he glanced down at Bill’s right leg, he hadn’t seen the scar on the demon’s thigh, it had occurred long after they had been physical together. His mind drifted a little as he began wondering what it looked like and where it most hurt before he was snapped back out of it when his companion ventured closer and he caught his familiar scent.

Hearing his name being called, he smiled, for some reason the use of it somehow seemed more affectionate, whether the demon realised it or not, he’d only really called him ‘Ricky’ exclusively since they’d decided just to be friends. Oh and how well that had worked out, huh? Standing here, now, they were about as far from that point as it was possible to be. It seemed incredible to him that he’d ever believed he could give this up, give _Bill_ up.

 _“Bill.”_  He replied with a warm smile, smoothing his hand up the demon’s back to pull him further into the embrace. He settled his head on Bill’s shoulder and took a moment to run his thumb across the nape of the demon’s neck, slipping it over the small triangular tattoo that resided there. They had a long history together and in that time Bill had inhabited a few different bodies; Rick had fallen in love with all of them. Bill’s tattoos has always provided the continuity Rick needed, reminding him that no matter how the shell changed, the demon inside remained the same, what they had  _shared_ remained the same.

Glancing down at the bottle gripped in the demon’s hand he smiled against Bill’s ear. “ _You’d better not be planning to get me drunk Cipher.”_ He growled teasingly before kissing the demon’s warm cheek and extracting himself to slip his arm across Bill’s back and turn him so they were both standing staring up at the house.

 _“The last few days have been hell.”_ He said softly with a sigh. _“I suggest we forget our troubles for one night and deal with them in the morning, we don’t deserve to but that doesn’t mean we shouldn’t.”_

_\-------------------_

 A little shiver hopped down the demon’s spine as his companion growled in his ear. That  _tone_  that Rick’s voice took, equal parts threatening and playful, never failed to arouse Cipher. It was another detail he had missed, another he had mourned in the absence of their intimacy. He leaned into the cheek kiss, consumed by the sensation of his partner’s lips on his skin- it was comforting,  _reassuring._

“Of fucking  _course_  I’m getting you drunk, sweetheart,” Bill teased. “Half this bottle’s mine though. Knowing you and I, I figured we could stop drowning ourselves in booze  _alone_  and get fucked up together. You know,” he paused, giving Evil Rick a wide, beaming smile. “Like old times.”

Golden eyes fell back upon the Chicken Point cabin, admiring the peaceful aura of his surroundings- the structure that would become their haven, the familiar warmth of Rick’s arm across his back, the way the crisp lake shore breeze danced on the nape of his neck. Bill mimicked Evil Rick’s stance, wrapping an arm around the other and pulling his companion into him, to keep him close. The last few days  _had_  been hell, and the demon found he couldn’t escape it anywhere he went. 

Ironically enough, it was  _here_  that he seemed to be able to leave his troubles at the door,  _here_  in the arms of the man who he’d created this hell with. 

“I’ll deal with them in the morning on the condition that you make me pancakes in the morning.” Cipher’s demands were sealed by the addition of yet another soft kiss to the top of Rick’s head. It felt so  _good_  to have this again, even if things were going to shit around them there was solace in the fact that they still had  _this_  to run to- this intimacy and understanding that they could share, had shared,  _would always_  share. The demon wouldn’t dare make the decision to break it again. How could he? Even when his life was shattering to pieces this still made it all feel whole. Though admittedly, the very thought of the landslide of events these past few days made his hold slip away from his companion’s body, using the now-free hand to reach for the Vicodin bottle again and pop a few capsules in his mouth. Damn fucking leg.

Tucking the pills back into his pocket, Bill pinched his companion’s chin between his fingers, tilting Rick’s head to give him yet another tender kiss, this time on the lips. Desire got the better of the demon. Enticed by the traces of whiskey and cigarettes, he kissed hard,  _deeper,_  pulling away with a mischievous smirk.

“Place this beautiful deserves to have  _every room_  broken in properly, don’t you think Ricky?”

\----------------------

 _Sweetheart?_  Oh so it was going to one of  _those_  kind of nights was it; pet names, pinned positions and plenty of lube? He licked his lips with a smirk as he briefly considered the fact that Bill, in  _this_  skin-suit, in this  _Rick,_  had never actually taken top. The demon had a habit of convincing Evil Rick to do all manner of perverse things when they were both utterly fucked up, the finale usually occurring in the morning when Rick was disgustingly sober and Bill had tied him down to make him watch because of course the fucking bastard always somehow managed to record each and every disgrace.

He gave Bill a side glance and grinned knowingly.  _“Like old times.”_  He repeated, squeezing Bill’s shoulder as he admired the demon’s bright smile. Bill’s breakfast request was met with a chuckle and a warmth in his chest as he realised neither of them would have to take off in the middle of the night. 

The impromptu kiss caused Evil Rick’s stomach to swirl, as memories flooded back of the one they’d shared only a few days ago. The one that had punched a hole in the wall he’d erected to keep Bill out, forcing it to crumble to his feet, brittle and broken. It’s desperate, hungry, self-deprived nature still saturated him and right now it was making him long to taste Bill every time he swallowed. He’d been walking a tight rope for months, one small push from Bill was all it had taken to force him to fall. As the demon pulled away, Evil Rick stepped away, the move made in some vain attempt to look like he had some control over himself, determined to enjoy the anticipation as much as the satisfaction of it,  _Christ_ , he was still falling,  _wasn’t he?_  

There was so much he wanted to say, but he didn’t know where to start, so many thoughts and yet they all lingered behind the one that took precedence over them all;  _please don’t let us fuck this up again_. He said nothing, instead choosing to wrap his arm around Bill and lead him into the house. 

 _“Every room.”_  He concurred with a dirty grin. “ _But first old friend, a drink…many fucking drinks.”_

\----------------------

Bill had heard it, that slip of invasive thought that suddenly overtook any other pulse of sound within his space. The demon wrapped his arm around Evil Rick’s shoulders, giving his partner a reassuring squeeze. “We’re not gonna fuck it up again.  _I won’t let us._ ” Bright yellow eyes darted to the other as Cipher cleared his throat. He hadn’t been  _actively_  trying to intrude on Rick’s thoughts, some always just stuck out a little more when it came to human beings, so he’d found- they called to him in their own way. And any of distress, any of worry were always particularly  _loud._ “Sorry, sorry just… couldn’t help it. But we won’t lose this.  **I promise.** ”

He mirrored his companion’s suggestive grin. He could get this man to do damn near  _anything_  when he was fucked up enough. And seeing his face when he woke up in the morning to the sound of his own begs and pleas pouring from the television speaker, tied to the bed and forced to watch as his face blushed bright red- it was a sight he wanted to see again.  _Soon._ The thought of it alone elicited a dark chuckle. “Many,  _many_  fucking drinks is right, Ricky.”

Approaching the plush and inviting sofa, the demon made the executive decision to say  _fuck it_  to whiskey glasses and pulled away from the other to make his way towards the furniture. Tonight was a night to drink straight from the bottle, no one else was here to give a shit. Bill kicked off his shoes, and his immediate next thought was  _why stop there?_ He couldn’t run around nude at home, but here there were no kids, no responsibilities- just a secluded cabin on a lake, him, and Evil Rick. He could be as naked as he damn well pleased.

Cipher stripped slowly, turning his back to the other and quite obviously attempting to put on a show. It took every ounce of self control to bite back his laughter. Cloth fell away from his skin piece by piece, each new inch of bare body showing was another scar, another tattoo, another decoration on the demon’s flesh revealed- from the black and brown owl on his inner left forearm, to the disfigured, massive patch of marred muscle and skin, the culprit of Bill’s limp. He eased onto the couch, stretching out his legs and draping his arms across the back of the furniture, shamelessly in all of his glory. He flashed the other a dirty little wink, waving the bottle in his hand and patting his chest, beckoning Rick to join him.

This time, Bill couldn’t stifle the snicker that escaped his lips. “Come lay down with  _Daddy.”_

_======================================================_

Evil Rick didn’t care that occasionally the demon picked up on the thoughts that were shouting in his mind but he dared not speak. It took a lot for him to open up and often it was easier for the demon to figuratively pry open his brain and force things out into the light. He smiled at Bill as he was reassured, but the past had already confirmed it wasn’t a promise Bill could make or indeed either of them could keep. Still, what they had right now was enough and a great deal more than they’d allowed themselves recently. 

As they entered the house Evil Rick moved towards the kitchen to get a couple of glasses but it seemed the demon had other ideas. Oh tonight was going to get  _messy_  he could already tell. Placing down the glasses he watched Bill kick off his shoes as he lit a cigarette, his eyebrow arching as Bill continued to strip at a deliberately slow and sensuous pace. He stood transfixed with an amused and quite obviously entertained smile painted on his face, saying nothing, allowing the moment to happen naturally. Inhaling from his cigarette he took his time to drink in the sight of this gradual and calculated exposure, exploring Bill’s body with his eyes, identifying new scars and marks and enjoying the sight of those familiar tattoos that were already calling to him for his touch. This canvass was not one of his own making, but he could still enjoy it,  _admire_  it; Bill was a work of art, it was difficult to deny. 

The little pat to the couch caused him to scoff, it had been a long time since someone had beckoned him like a damn pet. Fuck and if his feet weren’t already crossing the damn floor in spite of his own offended volition. Then he heard it and his hand immediately went up to his face to cover his eyes and his embarrassment,  _no_ , not embarrassment; arousal,  _Jesus Christ;_ if he hadn’t already been aware of the tone of the evening, he definitely was now. 

 _“You’re not my fucking Daddy.”_  He chuckled as he moved to sit beside the now quite extraordinary naked demon, shaking his head lightly, chastising himself with a grin as he reached for the bottle. Taking a large swig and then another he handed it back to the demon. “ _You did that rather well.._ ” He grinned, grinding out his cigarette before slipping his lab coat to hang loosely from his shoulders, “… _care to do the same for me?”_  

Fucking take it from me, all of it,  _everything_. 

\---------------------

Cipher took a swig from the bottle, hissing as the burning amber liquid trickled down his throat. The demon nodded towards him with a snarky, knowing grin. “That blush on your cheeks  _definitely_ says otherwise, Ricky. But I’ll give you the benefit of the doubt. We’ll see what you’re screaming by the end of the night, hm?”

Bill popped his brow, watching as Evil Rick’s lab coat slowly slid down his arms,  _listening_  to the unspoken demand so clearly meant to be heard, meant to display the urgency that Rick was not yet vocalizing. But by the end of the night he’d make him,  _God_  he’d make him.

_Fucking take it from me, all of it, everything._

Well how could he  _not?_

The naked demon leaned towards him, invading his space, letting the heat emitting from his flesh consume his companion as fingers curled into fists around the pristine white fabric, peeling it from his body in tempo with gentle kisses and bites upon his neck. Slowly, the lab coat slid off the edge of the couch and by the time it landed on the cold concrete floor, Bill’s fingers were already hooked on the hem of Rick’s black shirt, guiding it up and over his companion’s head in one fluid motion.

Next, of course, the pants had to go. Every inch they were pulled was another inch Bill kissed down Rick’s back. His lips brushed over the healing, scarred skin where his original brand had been carved away, danced across much older, faded marks from the burns Cipher had given him in his youth. The demon couldn’t help but crack a smile- he could recognize every single impression he’d left on his old friend’s skin. And once he’d pulled off Rick’s shoes, pants and undergarments in one bundle, the realization hit him that his companion had never left any marks of his  _own_  on any of Bill’s puppets… Perhaps they were at the point they could finally change that.

Warm palms gripped the other’s waist, pulling him to rest his back against the demon’s marred chest. Fingers combed through Evil Rick’s hair, brushed down his neck, pausing at his shoulders to gently knead the muscles of his partner’s upper back. More was to come, but until they were properly tipsy this is what he craved, to be close to each other, to be  _exposed_  to each other.

“No clothes,” Bill murmured, smile buried into Rick’s blue-grey hair. “ _Not here._ ”

\---------------------------

Evil Rick fought the urge to touch his own cheek and test if he was in fact blushing, but he decided against it, determining that the demon was merely goading him into further embarrassment. 

 _“Promises promises.”_  He growled back with a challenging stare, knowing that it usually took a hell of a lot to make him shout anything, let alone scream it, he was abnormally quiet during sex, especially in his later years. 

As the demon moved closer, Rick settled into the change of pace, allowing Bill to slowly strip him down, shifting only when beckoned to, to aid the removal of every garment still clothing him. With his back turned to Bill he closed his eyes as he felt heated palms drift over his skin, smoothing across new scars and exploring old burns before slipping away to be replaced with the sensation of warm lips pressing eagerly to his damaged flesh. When he was finally coaxed to lay back against Bill and felt the demon’s fingers raking gently across his skull he realised just how differently they were treating each other. Their last semi-clothed interactions which had occurred months ago, had been fevered and desperate, rushed and emotionless and when finished they were over completely, each taking their leave of the other before the cum had even cooled. Not because they didn’t want to be around each other, but because they didn’t dare to, because if they didn’t try they didn’t have anything to lose. Fucking Bill was not what he had missed, he’d fucked Bill only a few short months ago,  _no_ , this,  _this_  was what he had missed and now that he had it back he was already preparing to mourn its loss; ever the fucking pessimist. 

 _“No clothes ever?”_  He asked with a chuckle, imagining the pair of them wondering around like a couple of old fucking nudists. He was about to make another comment when he got distracted by the first sight of the painful looking scar that was causing Bill to consume such hefty quantities of painkiller. 

Angling his head to the side he slipped a large calloused hand up Bill’s leg, pass the tiger tattoo on his calf, stopping at his knee as he turned on his side, lying nestled against the demon as he studied the deep trench in Bill’s thigh. It was a deep, brutally large and imperfect incision that had clearly been filled with some kind of caustic, corrosive agent which had definitely eaten away at the muscle, causing irreversible damage. Shifting down Bill’s chest so his head was practically resting on the demon’s stomach, he examined it more closely as he lightly trailed a finger around its marred circumference. Just thinking about the demon’s ordeal caused his blood to boil, the fact it had left this permanent mark was awful enough but the pain Bill still seemed to endure with it definitely angered him the most. Pressing his palm to it, in a tender touch he tilted his head forward to carefully kiss its edges, unable to fight the instinct his tongue slid out of his mouth to taste those damaged verges of tightened muscle and sore skin from entry to exit point. Softly pressing his forehead against it he sighed heavily. 

 _“Motherfuckers…..it’s so much worse than I anticipated.”_  He said quietly, closing his eyes as he willed away his burgeoning anger, his fingertips still delicately pressing against the spoiled spots communicating his continued intrigue.  _“Where does it hurt the most?”_

\-------------------

The grin on the demon’s face grew wider, a breathy laugh escaping his lips as fingertips traced lazy patterns across the skin of Rick’s shoulders and neck. “You think we need them really? We’ll just be spending most of our time tearing them from… each other…”

Cipher’s voice trailed off as he realized his companion was no longer concerned with the idea of turning the place into their own nudist paradise, but instead fixed on the cavernous, scarred wound on his thigh. Bill had always harbored mixed feelings about his injury since he’d been rescued from that wretched place. On the one hand, it told a story of survival, something he couldn’t necessarily be ashamed of. He had endured incomprehensible torture and came out alive. But on the other hand, that success story had come with never-ending consequence. Chronic,  _consuming_  pain was so much different than quick stabs to the skin or even surface burns… It was so much  _worse._ It had taught him why humans had a predisposition to avoid pain rather than seek it, and even when they  _did_  yearn for it, it was nothing like this. They wanted quick pain, a finite and reparable fix.

To be crippled by this ugly,  _marred_  patch of flesh, a scar which was not his own creation, a scar that told the story of a memory he’d rather forget… It disfigured the otherwise methodical, intricate canvas of his skin. All he had been thankful for was that the damned thing had never ruined any of his tattoos.

Bill winced, watching as Rick shifted down his torso to inspect it with growing intrigue. He could feel the heat of anger emitting from the other’s flesh, something he did his best to soothe by slowly dragging the soft pads of his fingertips through his partner’s hair again. He’d spent the better part of the last half a year trying to ignore his injury, silence it with medication. Having it get attention- showered with kisses and tongue laps and gentle, caressing touches- was entirely new. And entirely  _welcome._

“It’s nothing I can’t handle,” the demon reassured with a soft smile.  _Where does it hurt the most?_ God, how could he be specific? It hurt  _everywhere._ It didn’t stop at the scar, oh no, it radiated through the entire limb. On days like today, it was a dull ache, manageable at best but throbbing and agitated. Other days it  _demanded_  to be felt, to the point where it took him an hour alone to rise from the bed. As the months passed those days became less and less frequent, but they still happened, often enough for Cipher to still be bitter about this whole ordeal.

Bill took a sharp inhale of breath as Evil Rick’s soft prods found a particular spot of the grotesque scar- dead center, where the acid had been poured, where the corrosion was deepest and had even grazed the surface of his femur. “ _There,”_  he hissed, resisting the urge to recoil the best he could. “ _Right there.”_

_======================================================_

_“I think it’s beautiful._ ” He said, without a hint of sarcasm, eyes still locked onto the disfigurement, clearly enamoured with it. Easing forward he deeply kissed the centre of the entrenched scar. _“You’re more human now than you’ve ever been.”_  He stated, licking his lips, refusing to break from Bill’s gaze, watching as the pain behind the demon’s expression gradually receded as he slowly released his grip on it. Turning carefully to avoid aggravating it further, he sinuously slipped between Bill’s legs, stretching over the demon’s body, his hands folded over the demon’s chest to prop up his chin as he lay staring at him with a questioning expression.  _“So many marks…”_  He slipped his hand down to trace the curved scar where Bill’s kidneys would reside, of course he knew exactly who had made this one.  _“…and yet none of my own…”_  He shifted lightly,  _deliberately_ , re-positioning his weight to softly rub his stomach across Bill’s cock. 

Placing his hand on Bill’s chest, he drew his fingers harshly across the tattooed heart meant for the person who had thought they had claimed it entirely, flashing the demon a sinister and yet playful smile. “… _but perhaps you don’t wear mine on the outside…hmm?”_ They’d given each other more internal scarring than any human body could accommodate and just like bold strike of a blade; they burned… _endlessly._

Stretching up he examined the demon’s torso _, appraising_ it. _“Which patch would you pledge to me I wonder?”_ Slowly he traced his finger, like the tip of a sharp scalpel down Bill’s body pressing and prodding at each point where he found a stretch of blank skin.Reaching up he grabbed Bill’s arm and pulled it down towards him with eager demand to look more closely at the tattoo his old friend had adorned himself with when they were in Vegas together; the owl. 

 _“You never told me but I always knew.”_ He grinned smugly, lowering his head to trace the tip of his nose up the demon’s stomach, past his chest up to his throat.  _“I want you bleed for me.”_  He whispered against the demon’s Adam’s apple, pausing to lightly grab the taut skin of the protrusion between his teeth before letting go instead of baring down. Tilting his head he exposed his throat to the demon and slowly guided Bill’s hand to clasp around his throat. _“But not tonight, tonight it’s my turn.”_  Opening his mouth he slipped Bill’s thumb into it, running the sharp edges of his teeth along it before circling it with his tongue sucking hard before release.  _“Hurt me…….just like old times.”_

_\--------------------------_

“I knew you were clever enough to figure it out.” Bill couldn’t help the wide smile that spread ear to ear on his face, golden eyes admiring the owl tattoo- his oldest one, the same one that had kicked off the infinite art project on his skin and, arguably, one of his favorites. Quite possibly his  _most_  favorite, the one that reminded him of the first human he’d dared to love or befriend, the first he had considered  _equal_. He had carried it on him for over thirty-five years, displaying it proudly on each of his puppets through everything he and Evil Rick had endured together- every fist fight and every sloppy bout of bathroom stall sex, every high and  _every_  low, never once daring to remove it, even if there had been times he almost wanted to kill the man…  _almost._

“I’d pledge any bare patch you’d like,” the demon responded with an unmistakable purr in his voice, tilting back his head and allowing the other access to the lump in his throat. Of  _course_  he wanted to bleed for him. Bill was decorated with plenty of scars, plenty of  _brands_ from Evil Rick around his heart, that was for certain. They had all sliced his soul with a hot knife and were stitched back together with barbed wire, he’d bear them for eternity. But to see them on the surface and join his own gallery would be something entirely new. And after all of the marks he’d left on his companion, he’d been  _craving_  one in return.

There was the grin again, pulling at the corners of his mouth as his hands were guided to his companion’s throat. There was just something so  _enticing_ about topping Rick whenever he asked for it, specifically- a pride in knowing that others had to beat this man to the floor to get him to bottom, but for Bill all it often took was words or Rick’s desire to experience the demon’s power fully,  _wholly._ Cipher ran his thumb along the edges of his partner’s teeth, pressing down along the serrated canines until pin pricks of crimson popped forth from his skin, staining the tips of bone red and swiping the cut along the rough, wet surface of Rick’s tongue. He smiled, lewd images of those teeth gnawing at his skin in equal parts frustration and arousal and leaving in their wake a trail of bruises and blood. 

“ _Like old times_ , hm?” His free hand roamed Evil Rick’s body, exploring every inch of flesh, sliding around his waist and smoothing over the skin of his ass. Two fingers dove into the crevice between his cheeks, rubbing slow and gentle circles around the pink and puckered hole. He contemplated lube, but… Well, if Rick wanted it to  _hurt…_ The thought made Cipher flash the other a sadistic look.

“When I first met you, I remember taking home an excited boy so  _eager_  to please the stranger who lit a bar up in flames and smoke with a finger snap.” Each word was hissed through the demon’s snarling smile, dripping from his lips like poison. With no warning, the hand wrapped around Evil Rick’s throat clenched tight, squeezing the breath from him and pulling him down so he was nose-to-nose with the grinning god. The two fingers waiting at his entrance shoved past the tight ring of muscle down to Cipher’s knuckles-  _pain_  to the demon meant  _invasion_  more often than not. 

“ _Are you going to be that boy for me tonight, Rick?”_

\-----------------------

The change in the demon was almost immediate, his smile, tone and temperament shifting before Rick’s eyes, that natural, beautiful unrestrained malevolence rising to the surface to replace all of Bill’s more civil mannerisms. To Rick,  _this_  was what Bill was, would  _always_  be; a demon, a monster, a mentor, a being of infinite chaos and powerful dark volition; a predator of predators.

The constriction he had expected but not the unannounced intrusion. His body immediately tensed in resistance of course, making the pain he was feeling all the more acute.  _“Fuck…”_  he blustered through gritted teeth; it was the last word he got out before his breath was ripped from his lungs and his body started to kick out and pull back in natural resistance, his hands shooting up to grip at the hot fingers now slowly starting to strangle him. His gaze had been captured by the bright bold beams of amber light from Bill’s own and only broke free when they clenched shut in reaction to the demon working his dry digits further up inside him.

Are you going to be that boy for me tonight, Rick?

Those words,  _that_ question, uttered which such tender and threatening cadence induced the memory of that very night and made Rick feel like that desperate, lost, obscenely violent twenty two year old boy all over again. The sound of Bill’s voice that night echoed in his mind repeating words that had been deeply embedded in his unconscious for decades.

“What I can make you? I can make you  ** _anything_**  you want to be, but for tonight, I’m making you  ** _mine.”_**

\-------------------------

That desperate, sticky, sickly feeling bubbled up inside Rick once again, that need to not only know but  _feel_ what he meant to the demon who was gripping him so tightly and not so tenderly violating him. That awful need to be appreciated and validated by Bill would simply not be crushed despite his best efforts. With frantic eyes he searched Bill’s face as that need swirled in his aching stomach and poisoned all his thoughts,  _Christ_ , he was glad he couldn’t speak.

Swallowing against the grip, unable to voice anything, he finally allowed that stark, gnawing need to wash over him and as it dragged him down into its shameful depths he nodded at Bill; that was exactly who he was and would  _always_  be. Sick with love and thick with hate, self-resenting and weak, so fucking weak for the demon who he had once belonged to and he needed to belong to again.

\--------------------------

The demon’s grin curled into a snarl, narrowed eyes of burning gold studying the frantic expression growing on Rick’s face. Bill found himself experiencing flashbacks of the night of May 20th, 1977. Images of a writhing, cuffed, young boy underneath him with dark hazel eyes widened by both uncertainty and awe clouded Cipher’s mind like a smokescreen. He saw the same look on the other’s face now as he had the first time he’d claimed Rick for himself- older now, but still that splendid mix of devotion, adoration, and self-hatred for even giving someone else such an advantage. When he nodded, Bill pulled him closer for a light, teasing kiss on his lips. “ _Good boy,”_  he hissed in his usual mocking tone. Rick was in a state of both resentment and arousal- he wanted to  _amplify_  those feelings tenfold. He wanted Rick to cum and  _hate himself_  for it.

He kept his gaze locked with his partner, hoping to hold his attention as he pushed his fingers further,  _deeper_  inside him, spreading the digits apart to pull the tight, puckered hole  _wider._ A satisfied smile crossed the demon’s face when at last he heard the unmistakable, lewd sounds of slicked wet muscle and withdrew his hand. The grip around Evil Rick’s throat slackened, flashing to grab a fistful of the man’s hair, dragging him off of Cipher and pulling him down to his knees on the floor.

Bill straightened his posture and sat proudly before the other with his legs spread- one hand wrapped around his hardened length and the other still scraping against Rick’s scalp, glowing eyes conveying a clear sense of entitlement, of malice, of twisted adoration. There was a long pause, one during which he could only  _stare,_ enamoured by how obedient Evil Rick was to him still. He pulled on the follicles wrapped in his fist a little tighter, tilting back his partner’s head as the demon leaned down to leave another peck on his mouth with a smile, one equal parts tender and sinister. 

Bill scooted his hips forward to the edge of the couch, the tip of his thick cock now pressed to the other’s lips, parting them ever so slightly.

“You’ll wanna get to work, Ricky, and you better do it well,” he growled through grinning teeth, sharpened canines glinting in the afternoon low light. “ _This is gonna be the only lube you get._ ”

\--------------------

 _Good boy_ ….Bill’s favourite taunt placed with a chaste little kiss, the taunt designed to make the 64 year old killer trapped in the demon’s arms feel like a God Damn dog. The taunt that always played directly to Rick’s desire to be appreciated in a way that made him feel furious with himself every fucking time he heard it. The old man’s teeth gritted into a snarl, somehow only adding to that canine perception, he forced away the resulting growl, pushing it way down into the depths of his guts, choosing to make no noise at all, determined not to give Bill the satisfaction of hearing his frustration. The demon’s strangle hold remained strict and unrelenting and was already beginning to make Rick feel incredibly light headed as veins in his neck rose quickly colouring to the same red blush as his face.

Closing his eyes he huffed out a tiny tensely silent breath as the demon twisted his hand, achingly stretching him out until the sound of his own painful violation smacked loud and wetly lewd between the walls and high ceilings, filling the room with their salacious resonance. As the rumble of his own beating blood filled his ears, a clear sign he needed more oxygen, Bill, as if sensing it too, finally loosened his grip causing Rick to cough as he sucked in a fierce lungful of air and clenched around Bill’s fingers just as he was pulling them back out.  _Fuck_ , it had been so long he’d almost forgotten how easily Bill could manhandle him like this.

The brief moment of respite lasted only a few seconds before the demon’s fist was entwined in his hair, pulling hard at the roots until they shrieked in response and Evil Rick was forced to follow the harsh grip down to the floor, right down to his fucking knees.

There he sat, sprawled and alert; the demon that had both saved and destroyed him, legs parted, cock expectant and unspent, asserting dominance, desiring tribute and expecting devotion. In response Rick fought against the demon’s grip to rise up from the floor, still positioned on his knees, stretching out his torso, allowing his cock to slip from the floor to angle up between his legs and slap against his stomach, practically springing to attention, giving the sadistic demon a good fucking look at everything he’d been missing all this time.

Again he growled against Bill’s grip as his head was tilted back, but he did not fight the motion, instead accepting a kiss with wide open eyes, locked on the bright amber orbs that were now finally, fully fixated on him, as they should be, as they  _always_  should have been.

 _“I always do it well.”_  He quipped gruffly, his throat still hoarse from its earlier painful constriction and of course that damage was only going to get worse. Tilting his head he smoothed his cheek across Bills erection before lowering himself further down and shifting forward to place one hand on one of the demon’s knees as an attempt at some kind of control. With one hand cupping the demon’s balls he slipped his slick lips over the head of Bill’s cock and continued down, keeping his tongue flat until he had consumed the entire shaft which was so large it could be seen protruding inside his raw bruised throat. He held it there, spit now pooling thickly around the demon’s balls as he glanced up at him with a look of hunger and vulnerability, the look that he knew the demon absolutely adored. Reaching up he pulled at Bill’s fingers, unwrapping them from his tufts of hair and coaxed the demon to wrap a warm palm around the back of his head and push,  _hard._

_\---------------------_

The demon rolled his head back, letting a groan erupt from his chest and echo through the vast space of the cabin. Cipher could never forget how goddamn  _good_  this felt- how the rippling muscles of Evil Rick’s tight, warm throat pushed back at his invasion, how the long strands of spit soaked his balls. He liked it messy,  _wet,_ **gross,** and his partner could always deliver.

A dark chuckle escaped the demon’s lips as he followed suit, untangling his fingers from the other’s hair and wrapping his hand around Rick’s head, pressing him further, pushing deeper down his throat until he heard those delectable muffled gasps and chokes, those ragged breaths sputtered around his massive length as drool dripped down the other’s chin and coated his cock. “That’s a  _good boy,_ Ricky.” Fuck it was hard not to laugh- the sadistic bastard knew how much his partner  _loathed it,_ and how aroused it made him all at once.

A warm palm rose up to gently brush along Rick’s face, admiring the blush in his cheeks and that look, that  _look_  that Cipher knew so well and assured him no matter what he did to this man he would hold for him like steel. It was a look that said  _take me,_ a look that said  _I’m yours._

The other hand smoothed across Evil Rick’s jawline and down to the taut, tight skin of his now-engorged neck, the demon’s full and unspent cock throbbing just below the surface. He held the man’s head firmly in place, Bill’s length fully sheathed in wet muscle and Evil Rick’s nose buried in the grey patch of pubic hair, his chin pressing into Cipher’s balls. Slowly, surely, his fingers found their original place on his companion’s throat, each finding the bruises they’d left behind and  _squeezing,_ making the marks darker, hurt  _deeper._ He needed to feel snug in that warmth,  _stuck in it._ Bill began to thrust his hips, only slightly at first until the overwhelming urge to bury himself in this sensation became too powerful for him to fend off. His grip tightened with every motion of his hips, the other palm keeping Rick’s head steady as he fucked his mouth with such intensity he seemed hellbent on choking the man to death with his cock.

Death by dick.  _What a way to go out._

Cipher’s voice dropped to a sinister pitch, hissing through a salacious grin- a voice heard more often than not when his sole intent was to destroy. A single question was on his mind, not for the sake of curiosity but for the sake of  _dominance._  Oh he knew the answer, but naturally he wanted to hear it come from the other’s mouth. No, wait, that would require he slip his cock out of that deliciously slick sleeve of throat. But maybe his  _mind…_  Yes, Rick was certainly at a disadvantage since the demon could hear his every thought, wasn’t he? No hiding- not now, not  _ever._

“ ** _Does Daddy’s cock taste good, Rick?_** _”_

_=========================================================_

He’d accepted Bill so far down his throat his nose was buried in tickling hair, crushed against the demon’s skin at a painful angle. He could hardly breathe and was instead forced to suck in what little air he could around the spit slick girth still filling what felt like the entirety of his esophagus. Each time he tried, he succeeded only in achieving the barest of breaths instead merely managing to loudly, lewdly suck up thick stings of saliva into his mouth instead, much to his visible annoyance. His palms lay flat on Bill’s thighs, mindlessly smoothing circles as he willed himself to take what he knew was inevitably coming.

‘That’s a good boy Ricky’

Oh  _fuck you_. He couldn’t speak, but as he looked up at Bill and felt the demon’s hot hand tauntingly caress his face, his eyes shot sharp violent daggers, ones that were immediately blunted by Bill’s blossoming arousal, the sight of which immediately tempered his annoyance, perverting its purity until the expression on his face was one more akin to a dangerous and desperate desire.

As Bill’s strong tattooed fingers deftly wrapped around his neck and clenched to trap the demon’s cock in the close confides of his bruised throat, any hopes of continuing to breathe were immediately lost. Rick attempted to arch his head back to create enough of a gap to get air through his nose, but the hand on the back of his head tensed in response allowing no such liberty, reminding him that this time, he was not in control.

Holding his breath, holding this position, holding  _for_  Bill, a gurgled growl escaped him as he felt Bill’s hand slip down to explore the curvature of that constriction, the demon palming over the painful protrusion of taut skin and protesting muscle.

Within a few seconds that tender exploration had evolved to a painful exploitative grip and the minute he felt it Evil Rick knew what was coming, not on any conscious level however; it was mere muscle memory, past experience and when it was realised his entire body tensed as both his hands shot up to grip Bill’s knees  _hard._  At first the roll of Bill’s hips was almost tentative, playful even, pulling his wet length out before sliding it back in, as if testing the space he had to work with and allowing Rick to suck in a deep fresh breath. That didn’t last long of course and a moment later the demon’s hips were bucking violently, as if powered by a piston, moving at an absolutely inhuman pace and as Rick battled to cope with the brutal violation, that was exactly how he felt;  _inhuman._  Immediately he was rendered incapable of complex thought, all compulsions suddenly forced to focus on coping, to focus on ensuring that the harsh repetitive poke of Bill’s cock didn’t force him to throw up an empty stomach’s worth of whiskey all over himself and the demon’s legs. The acrid taste of his own bile cresting in his throat caused him to cough and choke, a choke which forced small tears to prick at the corners of his eyes as the rhythmic wet sucking sounds that he was making entirely against his will, were transformed from sucking slops to panicked gags. The vociferous sounds of his own soaking struggle offended his ears but nowhere near as much as the words Bill spoke to him in a tone of utter and unapologetic ownership.

**_Does Daddy’s cock taste good, Rick?_ **

The thick, hot, pulsing obstruction in his throat meant he couldn’t answer but that didn’t stop his cock drunk mind from delivering a response that was absolutely mortifying and completely unwelcome.  _Fuck yes Daddy, so fucking good_. The minute he acknowledged the thought his eyes opened in shock to lock with Bill’s, the shame of it written all over his face because he could tell that Bill knew, he hadn’t spoken a word and yet still that Motherfucker knew,  _didn’t he?_

Instinctively his hands clenched, his arms tensing to the point of near exhaustion as he forced Bill to still inside his mouth before he finally gave in to that natural compulsion to push back and out, completely denying Bill the pleasure of his mouth. Falling back from him, rather ungracefully, straight onto the heels of his palms, still placed at the demon’s feet, he tilted his head to spit a hefty globule of saliva onto the floor and gasp in a deep, much needed breath.  _“Fuck you Bill!”_

Yet even now he  _knew_ , even as his muscles ached and his throat burned, even as he looked up at Bill with an expression of indignant rage and utter offence, he  _knew_ ; knew deep down all he really wanted was for Bill to strip down his ego, break him and take what he wanted. He fucking despised himself for it;  _fuck_ , how he’d  _missed_  this.

\--------------------

This was his favorite state to have him in. Tear-stained, blushing, ashamed, coughing up spit and giving Bill an offended look of defiance at his feet-  _Just how he liked him._ The demon couldn’t help but laugh loudly, his cackling resonating to the rafters and through the hallways, shattering any and all peaceful silence with his manic state, golden pupils washing blood red. Of  _course_  he’d heard Rick’s thoughts, the precise ones that betrayed the expression of disgust on his partner’s face this very moment. Not that his cock springing to life wasn’t enough evidence of how much he enjoyed his degradation. Evil Rick had a masochist streak that could damn near rival the demon’s own- the stark difference however, was that Bill took pride in it. Rick suppressed it more often than not.

“ _Fuck me?_ That’s all you ever wanna do you horny, needy, cock-hungry little bitch,” he hissed back. The words were acidic,  _venomous,_ and still Cipher grinned, so obviously dirty but with that genuine hint of adoration. Rick was needy, desperate for him and he  _loved it._ “You think I don’t pay attention to those little slip-ups in your mind?  _Please. You **love this.** ”_

A strong, warm hand flashed back to Evil Rick’s hair, gripping a fistful of it as he rose to his feet, pulling the other up to stand alongside him and dragging him away from the couches towards the kitchen. His leg stung,  _burned,_ but with the single goal of discipline in mind he didn’t even care to take notice. Rick had thought it. Now it was time to get him to  _say it._

No more games, no more mercy. His lover didn’t  _want_  mercy, no matter how many obscenities he screamed and spat in his face. Bill knew the truth, he could  _hear_  the truth whether Rick liked it or not. He’d never been able to keep a secret from him.  **No one could.**

The demon gave his companion a rough shove, letting Evil Rick land face-down with a loud  _smack_ , bent over the dining table’s wood surface. A fire-hot hand pressed between his shoulder blades to hold him down, pushing the air out from his lungs with his weight. Cipher snapped his fingers, and on cue a pair of glowing cyan cuffs erupted from the table and clasped around Evil Rick’s wrists, binding him to the surface. No escape.

A dark little chuckle rumbled in the demon’s throat, his hands slipping between Rick’s thighs and slapping them apart. Fuck he’d  _missed this,_ feeding on the other’s self-hatred as he caved to every single one of the demon’s demands. God there were never limits, never rules. Bill had been his mentor, his teacher- he’d never be denied because Rick  _always_ wanted to please him in any way possible, wanted to prove his worth. And to Cipher, whether he stood in front of the unhinged boy he’d met in the London bar or the older, handsome, diabolical gentlemen he now called his lifelong friend and first love, the crazed, wild look in those dark hazel eyes was worth  _everything._ So many things had changed between them, but this held strong, fortified by distance and intimacy alike. They had tried to kill it, bury it,  _tried_  being the key word. The demon was done trying. Rick needed him, and he needed Rick.

The tattooed hand on his back smoothed to the nape of his neck, twisting his partner’s face to look up into slivered crimson pupils as he held Rick’s head against the table. Bill licked his lips, a warm palm reaching down to slap the other’s heavy ball sack and finally wrap around his shaft, pumping at a furious speed until his arms ached. “ _Don’t you dare fucking cum,”_ he snarled, pressing his body down onto Evil Rick’s, consuming him in intense heat, biting at his ear and the crook of his neck, growling against bleeding and bruised skin, letting his spit-slicked length slip and slide between the cheeks of his ass.

“ _You don’t cum-… No, no you don’t get fucked until you tell Daddy how much you love tasting his cock, how badly you need it in your ass. I already know the truth. You don’t admit it and I’ll chain you up and leave you on this table with a leaking dick until you cooperate, all goddamn night if I have to.”_ Admittedly, it was hard for Bill to resist him in such a state. But they weren’t empty words- he’d done it before.  _Many_  times before.  

“So what’s it gonna be, Ricky?” he purred, his voice a sickening mix of desire and utter mockery.

“ ** _Are you Daddy’s good boy?_** _”_

\----------------------

The shrill loud laughter that echoed up the walls and circled round the rafters made Evil Rick’s blood boil, the insult that followed it causing a tense flush of rage which blushed over his cheeks and chest as he attempted to maintain some kind of composure. Anyone else would have found his fist buried down their fucking gullet by this point, but Bill wasn’t just  _anyone_ , he was the  _only_ one who could force him into this position. The knowledge of that helplessness was the only thing that allowed him to access the part of himself that ached for abuse, the part he kept deeply buried and tried to ignore, subjugation was difficult for him, it did not come naturally and he could not stop himself from fighting it.

 _“I’m not your fucking bitch.”_  He hissed, feeling himself rising up on to his haunches instinctively as if he were about to launch himself at Bill….one more fucking word that was all it was going to take.

You  **love this.**

Wiping spit from his chest and casting it to the floor with a languid flick of his wrist he narrowed his eyes at his counterpart.  _Urgh_ , the fucking bastard was right, yet this wasn’t enjoyment,  _no_ , it was deeper than that, it was cathartic, it allowed Rick to bleed fury, endure punishment and pack those leaking wounds with praise. Being subjected to Bill’s wrath whether playful or serious always left him utterly destroyed, purging him of all his intrusive thoughts and taking him to a place where he could escape from everything, most importantly, himself, he  _craved_  that escape.

His introspection was cut short as strong fingers entwined in his hair once more, his scalp screaming in response while he kicked at the ground as he continued to be dragged until he finally, mercifully made it to his feet. “ _Jesus…fucking…”_  He attempted to twist in the grip so he was no longer being marched backwards but before he could right himself he was turned and pushed,  _no_ , he was  _thrown_  at the dining table. As his palms landed flat against it with an audible thump, so did his face, the wood striking a painful strip of bruise across his cheekbone that immediately felt heated and swollen. Pushing himself off of it, a little dazed, he felt a flaming hot palm suddenly settle between his shoulder blades, pressing him down against the table so hard that his lungs burned and he became convinced if it continued his ribs were going to crack.

He attempted to push up and out from under the powerful pad at his back with every intention of dealing the demon a blow to the face but as soon as the thought entered his head he was dazzled with the glow of cyan coloured cuffs which wrapped tightly around his wrists and forced him back down, bending him over the table in a position of undeniable submission. The fact that it only took a click of the demon’s fingers to tether him to the table did nothing to ease his outrage and did everything to fuel his humility, a quality he distinctly lacked.

He grimaced as he attempted to steady his legs, groaning as he felt the pain of his bruised face when he made any kind of expression. Feeling Bill’s warm hands slapping at his thighs with demand, he pressed his forehead to the table and let out a frustrated huff as predictably he parted his legs for him, driven by the base instinct to fuck and  _be_ fucked. As Bill’s hand moved to tenderly grip the nape of his neck, he shuddered, disgusted more by tenderness than violence in a moment such as this and yet still the need to be kissed was overwhelming. As his head was coaxed round, he fought to avoid Bill’s gaze, but it was no use, he was captivated by the demon and nothing could stop him meeting the bright amber of those familiar eyes, the light of which had once, as a boy, made him feel worthy, damn,  _still_  managed to make him feel worthy.

 _“Ow fuck!”_  He blustered as the demon slapped at his balls as if issuing a reminder of just how dangling and vulnerable they were. Before he could think to complain further, Bill’s warm palm had wrapped around his recoiling erection and within mere moments had forced it back into full bloom and beyond. The speed was barbaric and he could nothing in response but collapse against the table as the demon’s first pumped back and forth until he felt sure he was going to get a friction burn.  _Fuck,_  it felt so  _good_  though, so good he could feel his stomach tense, his groin coiling up sending signalling of an impending orgasm, one he knew Bill had no intention of letting him reach. The rough stringent whispers in his ear warning him not to cum and teeth grazing harshly against his skin only served to worsen his need causing his body to shake and shiver against Bill’s.  _“Slow….slow down…”_  He advised breathlessly, quite aware that if the demon didn’t stop he was about to explode all of his damn knuckles.

Then he felt it, Bill’s hard, heated spit slick length slipping up between his ass cheeks, sliding wet and wicked, back and forth, the movements serving as simultaneous threat and promise. If the feeling wasn’t enough to make his knees buckle, the taunting, owning, angry sounding orders coming from the demon definitely were. Oh he knew what Bill wanted, of course he fucking did, it was the same thing Bill always wanted when they found themselves in  _this_  kind of position, the one thing he always tried to deny the demon; the verbalisation of that exact position.

**_Are you Daddy’s good boy?_ **

As soon as he heard it, spoken in that poisonous sickly sweet taunting Motherfucking tone, his heart rate immediately increased and his breathing became more panicked and rapid, because he knew after all this time, after yearning for Bill for so long, feeling like it wasn’t reciprocated, feeling like he wasn’t enough _, this_ , this was as close as he would ever come to utterly submitting to him. It took everything he had in him not to give in to it.

Turning his head to meet the demon’s gaze he smiled and spat directly in Bill’s face.   _“I’ve never been good.”_ He chuckled hoarsely, licking his lips and backing up against the firm cock drifting across his ass _. “That’s why you love me so fucking much.”_

\-----------------------

The spit that landed in Bill’s face was met with silence, and then a  _smile._ Perhaps that should have been Evil Rick’s  _first_ warning, the  _only_  warning he would ever receive. A sickeningly sweet purr rumbled in the demon’s chest, one of reverence, one of  _mockery._ He wiped the saliva from his cheeks and his brow, chuckling as he leaned in closer and closer to his lover with that ever unnerving grin. “Oh you’re  _absolutely right._ I do love you, you naughty  _naughty boy. **So. Fucking. Much.”**_

Cipher left a teasing, gentle peck on the other’s lips, golden eyes staring at him so very intensely,  _hotly,_ pupils narrowing more and more until they were hardly anything but black, soulless cracks in pools of metallic honey. The demon’s hips grinding against Rick’s rear, dragging his massive erection achingly,  _threateningly_  slow across his lover’s ass. Defiance was expected,  _welcomed_  even. Bill wanted him to disobey so that he would have more reason to punish him. And Rick  _always_  gave the very best reasons. Because Rick  _needed_ this- a form of cathartic release, a form of emotional escape.

With a smile he wriggled his waist, shifting his cock snugly between his cheeks. And he  _pushed_ , ever so slowly, inch by inch until the tip of his length pressed into the other’s puckered, pink entrance. So close,  _so close…_

And suddenly, he pulled away.

Bill snickered, placing a single kiss on Rick’s back and giving his ass a hard  _whack_  with his palm, the sound of flesh meeting calloused flesh echoing against the walls. Another snap, and more cuffs erupted from the floor and clasped around his lover’s ankles, pulled tight by a chain and keeping his legs spread wide. The demon delivered a few more slaps to Evil Rick’s balls,  _just_  to remind him at who’s mercy he was, before walking over to a nearby chair and settling into it.

“Oh you look so  _cute_  like that,” he commented with a smirk. Reaching out his hand, the bottle of whiskey came flying across the room and directly into Bill’s grasp. He threw back a large swig, hissing as the burning amber liquid made its way down his throat. He leaned back in the chair, letting one arm dangle around the back of the seat and shifting his legs further apart to show off his glistening, spit-soaked, erect length. “But cute or not, you’re not getting shit until you cooperate. So call me Daddy or… Well,  _stay there._   **Your choice.** ”

Bill’s free hand wrapped around his erection and lazily pumped his grip up and down his cock.  _God_  he wanted so badly to go back over to him, press against him,  _fuck him._ It was difficult to resist the other in such a state.But this was more than just edging, this was re-establishing who was in charge _._ He licked his lips, filthy images already reeling in his mind of taking Rick from behind at his liberty, pulling out each time he was close to orgasm to fuel the other’s frustration, thrusting into him to the sound of skin slapping against sweat-slicked skin, Rick’s knees shaking as a puddle of his lover’s release grew on the concrete floor and Cipher painted his insides white… He’d have to stop thinking about it or he’d finish all too quickly himself. Of course he could always just aim his climax to the other’s face.  _That_  would surely be a reaction worth seeing.

“Spit doesn’t last forever, it’s all up to you how much lube you want to have left,” he said with a grin. “I mean, you know me. I don’t mind if it’s as dry as a fucking desert. I  _like_  the sting. And if I get bored of just sitting here and waiting for you, well…  _I do have a cane that I’d **more than happy**  to use._”

\------------------------

Bill was so close Rick could feel the fevered heat radiating off him, spreading through his skin and burning down Bill’s pupils to sticks; slivered dark little slices that projected that building sultry swelter and fixated on him like the demon was exploring conquered prey. Exploring, not simply with his eyes, but also with his slick, thick heated length that continued to slip over the small of Evil Rick’s back, momentarily dipping between the expectant crease of his rear and back out again. The  _fucking tease._

As Bill stilled and settled that menacing length to position it neatly against his opening, Rick huffed out a tense breath in an attempt to relax; spit was a piss poor substitute for lubrication and without any prior preparation this was going to fucking hurt,  _Christ_ , he  _wanted_ it to hurt.  Feeling Bill enter him, a shudder shocked down the back of his legs and as it reached his feet, still firmly planted on the ground, the demon pulled out,  _that Motherfucker_.

Hearing a taunting malevolent little snigger right beside his ear, Rick slowly turned his head to glare at Bill, to stare him down, his expression now one of utter condemnation. “ _Don’t you fucking dare…”_  The words were snarled more than spoken, spat through gritted teeth. Bill’s will power had always been greater than his own in such circumstances and he had instantly recognised that shit-eating grin, the one that told him he’d be getting nothing if he didn’t comply. The demon hadn’t said it yet, but he knew, he knew it was fucking coming.

Feeling Bill’s hand slap across his rear he clenched his eyes, a gruff growl resonating in his chest as he suppressed an angry shout, not willing to give Bill the satisfaction of his reaction. Hearing a snap near his ear he looked down to see a fresh set of restraints that extended the space between his legs so swiftly that they nearly caused his feet to slip from underneath him as they were quickly pulled so far apart his thigh muscles were already aching in protest.  _“I’m not cute, you fucking asshole.”_  The words were muttered and not really intended for the demon’s ears but he was already aware Bill had heard it, Bill heard fucking everything,  _always_.

Hearing the scrape of a chair across the floor and the unmistakable sound of a bottle cap being unscrewed, Evil Rick whipped his head around to look at Bill, but in this position he could only see some of him, that some, however, was enough. Watching Bill drink and look far too fucking pleased with himself, Rick’s throat instantly felt parched but he refused to ask Bill for a drink, refused to ask Bill for  _anything._  As his neck started to ache, twisted at this angle he pressed his forehead to the table just as he heard the lewd sound of Bill playing with his slippery cock.

 _“Fuck you and your fucking cane.”_  He addressed the statement down towards the table, not willing to look around at Bill, denying him the only thing he could at this point.

 _“So what, you… you’re just gonna sit there all night, pumping your lazy little hand over that huge cock of yours staring at my dry fucking asshole huh? Cum all over your own legs and then call it a night? Bullshit; you fucking want this and I don’t give a fuck if it hurts.”_  He turned his head to capture the demon’s gaze, flashing him a look of utter and absolute desire.

_“You want me to call you Daddy, you fucking **make**  me call you it, or is that beyond you demon?”_

_\-------------------------_

Bill couldn’t suppress the giggle that escaped his lips as Rick spat insults, hissing and growling about huge cocks and dry assholes. Fuck he was  _hilarious_  like this, and so goddamn _cute_  whether he wanted to hear it or not. This was how Cipher always loved him- stroppy, pissy, fuming and  _frustrated._ To others, either of their moods were something fear. But for Evil Rick and Bill, the pair lived to get on each other’s nerves. It was their own brand of romantic fun. Hell, it was  _foreplay._

“What? And give you no fun at  _all?_ Well now that would just be  _cruel_  of me, Ricky.” A smirk curled on the demon’s lips as he snapped the fingers of his free hand. If he was going to jack off, he wanted a show, that was for sure. It was but a few seconds before a warmth wrapped around the base of Rick’s cock. A hand? That’s what it was made to feel like yet, in reality, there was nothing there but the sensation itself, a rough touch that belonged to no one. Achingly slow, the invisible hand squeezed until it was damn near unbearable and began to pull along Rick’s frustrated length, sliding up and down at an agonizingly slow pace, the demon watching all the meanwhile. “Remember, you don’t cum  _until I say so_. And if you do, well… Can’t say you’re gonna like how this wraps up tonight, kiddo.  ** _HA!”_**

Leaving Rick to simply lie there, wanting and waiting, was a much more merciful act on the demon’s part than the other had thought.

There was another snap, because that’s how it always was and always  _had_ been- Bill could have everything he wanted, have anyone  _any way_  he wanted with a quick flick of his wrists, an effortless wave of his hand. A gleaming, thin steel cane appeared in Cipher’s grip as the demon rose to his feet. He took the few hopping steps towards the other until he was in front of him, pointing the metal tip outward and pressing it against the underside of Evil Rick’s chin. He tilted his partner’s head back to stare directly into his own golden gaze, black pupils as wide and round as discs, the eyes of a predator about to sink its fangs into its prey. God he  _loved_  that look that Rick gave him, one of unadulterated desire, of  _need._ “You can thank Kinky for this little number next time you see him.  _Great_  craftsmanship, don’t you think?”

He replaced the pressure of the cane with his own hand, grinning down at the other’s expression as the invisible, warm grip continued to rub along Evil Rick’s length, picking up the pace. “Keep holding it.  _That’s a good boy.”_

Bill’s fingers dug into the bruised skin of his lover’s jaw, bending forward so they were nose to nose. “You seem to  _forget_  that you’re in the position where I can make you do  ** _anything_** _,”_ he hissed through grinning teeth. Seeing him tied up like this, huffing and puffing like this brought him back to the night Cipher had first led Rick to his bed, the night the demon had claimed him for his own. And now it was to time to claim him  _again._ “Don’t think I can’t hear every filthy little thought crossing that brilliant brain of yours. You can’t deny it for long, Ricky. Your mind’s  _screaming it._ So I’m going to ask you again…”

There was a long, dramatic silence as Cipher raised his other arm, the one holding the cane.

“ _Do you want **Daddy**  to fuck you?”_

Not even a second later, and the steel toy came down across Rick’s ass with a loud  ** _crack._**

\----------------------

Hearing the snap of Bill’s fingers, Evil Rick instinctively felt his stomach lurch, knowing  _something_ was going to happen and suspecting that particular  _something_  wasn’t something particularly good. It was subtle at first; a strange heat that warmed his entire shaft, but soon that heat had evolved into an obvious and tense tugging, painfully slow and excruciatingly constrictive. A blustered “ _Fuck…_ ” escaped his lips as felt the familiar wetness of his own pre-cum and surrendered to the sensation, unable to do anything other than bear it and force back the urge to allow his mind to slip into the state of climax. His head was hanging, his sweat slick forehead pressed against the cold wood of the table as all focus was urgently centred on holding himself back, something he had never,  _ever_ been very good at doing.  _“Shit…”_  the word was hissed through gritted teeth and was the only evidence of any difficult in coping,  _Christ_ , he just wanted to splutter his damn load all over the floor, or beg the demon to fuck him,  _urgh_. Tightening his lips and his jaw he fought the urge to speak, maintaining silence even as he felt a cold, length of metal scrape threateningly across his chin… _okay,_  what the fuck was  _that_?

As his head was forced up from the table he was captured by Bill’s glowing gaze; the greedy gaze of a heavily aroused being with a limitless appetite, it was both thrilling and dreadful all at once; God how he  _loved_  to be the one finally receiving it again.

That’s a good boy.

The taunt made it harder, made him want to defy the demon and cum then and there, violent and indulgent, but he held it back, because despite his obvious frustration, he needed to prove he could, needed to prove he could do  _anything_ Bill demanded of him.

As Bill moved closer, tugging him forward to threaten him nose to nose, the strange handless rhythmic pumping around his cock almost became too much and he shuddered in response, huffing out a tense breath mere millimetres from Bill’s mouth.  _God_ , he just wanted the demon inside him, prodding at his prostrate and gripping his damn balls.  _“Motherfucking….”_ Frustration swelled within him once again, a desperate urgent unspent anger that at least quelled some of his arousal with rage. He knew the demon had heard it, howled from his mind despite the protest of his stubborn will. The question of course confirmed it and once again the demon was asking for the moniker he was refusing to use.

Before he could even consider answering, he heard the slicing sound of metal cutting through air and then a loud crack that coincided with a flash to his vision as pain raked sharply across his skull.  _“Ow…Jesus fucking…fuck…”_ Gasping out an angered breath and shuffling his feet, he attempted to maintain his composure, but the fresh pain and continuing hungry enforced masturbation were fast robbing him of it,  _all_  of it. He knew what the demon wanted; Bill wanted him to take a deep fucking breath and debase himself by pleading with his ‘Daddy’ to fuck him. Despite his best efforts to force the compulsion down, he finally relaxed his throat enough to speak, what came out was practically a scream.

 _“Yes! Okay, yes…fucking yes, of course I fucking do you sadistic piece of fucking shit_!” He bellowed the words so loudly that their volume alone stood as stark testimony to his terrible need. As if shocked at himself, he fell silent once again and refocused on repressing the urge to fiercely ejaculate, unable to look at Bill at all for fear the mere sight of him at this point might push him right over that precipice, he was already on the edge and it was quite obvious now that Bill intended to keep him there. 

\---------------------

Evil Rick was hauntingly quiet during sex, more often than not. So having the man screaming in his face was something the demon  _reveled_ in, proud to hold the title as one of the few, if not the  _only,_ being to make him shout and bellow and beg. It was music to Cipher’s ears. He tightened his grip around the other’s jaw, tilting his face so that he was  _forced_  to look at the grinning, sadistic demon as he leaned in for a chaste kiss- something served partially as a reward, but mostly to make him long for more.

“You know for as  _long_  as it’s been since we’ve done this, you’re still pretty damn good at holding it kiddo.” Bill walked towards the end of the table, slow and taunting, a hand smoothing over Rick’s flushed, heated skin- neck, to back, to ass. He halted finally, standing behind Rick and admiring the view. Grabbing a handful of the other’s rear, the demon pulled his lover’s cheeks apart and couldn’t help but lick his lips at the sight, a breathy little laugh escaping him. Puckered, pink and still-dry little asshole, and that throbbing, blushing, unspent erection being tugged and coaxed to cum by the invisible hold, despite Bill’s firm warning not to. His other hand snaked down to rubbed and explore the man cuffed before him, his warm fingers sliding up along Rick’s inner thighs and  _squeezing_  his balls in a firm, threatening grip. He pressed forward, pushing his cock,  _his body_  down against him, hissing in the other’s ear,  _biting_  at the skin around it. “But I think you’ll agree that  _proving yourself_   _to me_  has a lot more pros than cons. So I don’t blame you.”

There wasn’t a snap, he was thinking about just letting that magic hand continue to pull and palm Rick all while he fucked him. It would add an extra layer to the filth, the  _struggle_  off his situation. The demon kissed and bit a straight line down along his lover’s spine, all the meanwhile deciding that yes,  _that_  was indeed the proper course. of action. He hid every motion as an act of mercy when in fact he was only about to make it so much worse. That’s how it was with Bill, and that’s how it would  _always_  be.

“So many scars on you and only one or two of them are  _mine…,”_ he mused with a smile. The demon let his razor-like canines trace across Rick’s skin. “We might have to fix that sometime tonight.” 

It happened in a flash, a  _blur._ One moment his motions were soft, slow, salacious _._ And in the next, the hand groping Evil Rick’s ass flew to his hair, dropping the cane to the side and grabbing a tight fistful and  _yanking_  his upper torso off the table, as far back as the cuffs would allow. His balls were squeezed  _harder._ And without any form of warning, Bill took the plunge, thick cock forcing its way past the tight dry ring of muscle and fully sheathing himself inside of Rick’s warmth. It was  _painful._ It was  _indulgent._ It was  ** _just the way he liked it._**

He didn’t allow his partner any time to get used it- he never did. He expected Rick knew fully well how this would go by now, the demon was going to take and take and  _take,_ allowing Evil Rick release only once he was satisfied. Lucky for him, Cipher was closer than he thought, something he realized once he finally began thrusting his hips at his usual fevered, frantic,  _powerful_  pace. Noticing the pre-cum slicking along the other’s length, he pulled on his hair  _harder_  with fire-hot hands as Bill barked orders into his ear.  ** _“You keep holding it until I say so. You getting fucked is the opposite of permission.”_**

His other hand dropped its grip on Rick’s balls, reaching instead for the steel cane. It was always on purpose, this bombardment of demanding motion- his mouth hissing that Rick was forbidden to orgasm while every other part of his body did its very best to bring him right to the edge, tease him,  _force him_  to give in to his need. Because no matter what would happen, Bill had indeed forced it, whether that was forcing him to stay on the edge or forcing him to fall off of it and into an even more brutal beating.

The cane came down in time with each motion of his hips, cracks across the flesh of Rick’s ass met with the loud slapping of skin against flushing, caned skin.  _Fuck_  he’d missed this. He’d missed this man who would never break no matter how much he tore him, burnt him, bruised and beat him. Something he had once told him always resonated with the demon, always made it a challenge to see just how much the other could take.  _These toys of yours break so easily, they rip like paper while I serve you like steel._

Fuck, if that wasn’t the truth. Grinning at the thought, he craned his neck forward, growling into the other’s ear.

**_“Who’s your fucking Daddy?”_ **

\----------------------------

As his head was tilted and he was forced to hold Bill’s gaze and receive a kiss, he knew the demon was in his head, knew Bill was explicitly aware of his unspoken struggle and was actively seeking to weaken him against it. The minute the demon’s mouth had touched his own, his compulsion had been to tear at those soft lips with his sharp teeth, but to his shame he instead melted into it, returning it desperately as the ethereal force pulling at his cock made the taste of Bill’s mouth all the more salacious.

The praise almost made it worse, if Bill was plucking ideas out of his head then he already knew how difficult it was for him to hold back like this and knew that he couldn’t last much longer. As he felt Bill pull away from him, Rick’s forehead fell to rest back down on the table as his thigh muscles began to violently quiver, physically showing their protest at being stretched so far, for so long in this subjugated position. Feeling warm hands slip between his cheeks as Bill took up position behind him, his breath hitched only to be huffed out aggressively as he heard the demon’s light little laugh.

 _“Ahh…fuck…”_  The heated grip around his balls was so tight it caused him to judder in response, his entire body lurching forward as if to pull out of the painful grasp part of him was admittedly enjoying. Within a second Bill was upon him, warm flesh pressing him down against the hard table with such weight that it made it almost impossible to breathe against the force of the unexpected compression. Despite the pain he was explicitly aware that this was undeniably what he  _wanted_ ; Bill all over him, all warm skin and sharp bone, spitting words into his ear that asserted his power as he readied himself to slip inside and reclaim him. The thought alone pushed him further towards an untimely climax forcing him to sharply inhale what little breath he could and try and think of something else as he felt Bill’s solid, expectant spit-slick member slip and slide across his lower back. Warm lips placed a trail of reverent kisses down his back and caused Rick’s legs to slightly buckle; tenderness was not something he could cope with right now and the Motherfucker knew it.

He was about to reply to the offer of new scars but before he could speak he’d been wrenched up from the table by the roots of his hair at an unsightly angle that made his bruised throat ache as he sucked in a shocked gasp. The strange curl his back had been coerced into made his bones feel like they were scraping against each other and forced his thoughts away from the invisible force, which much to his surprise, was continuing to pump away at his now red raw, impossibly hard length. As the hand cupping his balls constricted once again, tighter this time, he lurched forward but found himself unable to move and unable to fight against the hand that had been fisted into his hair _. “Bill…shit…”_  At moments like this Rick always felt a slow growing terror, one born of the suspicion that the demon didn’t truly understand how human bodies worked and often forgot that Rick’s own was nowhere near as resilient as Bill’s. He was convinced that if Bill pulled him back any further he was going to break his fucking spine.

 _“Don’t….”_  His concerns were immediately silenced as he felt Bill’s cock, harder and larger than he’d ever remembered it, thrust upwards and brutally impale him. Dry, burning and unfathomably sore, rather than crying out he fell deathly, deadly silent.  _Christ,_  he felt fucking punctured and the thick trickle of blood he felt spill down the back of his leg to pool at his heel as Bill began to pull out of that first greedy thrust certainly suggested he had been. There was of course no acknowledgement of it, or his pain, not that he expected there to be,  _no_ , he got exactly what he had expected; fucked at an absolutely inhuman pace with pure and obvious disregard for his wellbeing; it was just what he had wanted, for longer than he cared to admit. As Bill picked up the pace, the sensation of the demon thrusting deeply inside him, sliding across his prostrate and pulling at his hair with white-hot fingers, blended with the warm sensation of the continuing tight jerks to overwhelm him causing a puddle of pre-cum to form on the floor as he fought with everything to once again push down the urge to splutter his pent up load absolutely everywhere.

The order to ‘hold it’ caused him to open his eyes and stare at Bill desperately, his expression one that utterly betrayed the fact he wasn’t sure if he really could. Bill was fucking him viciously  _hard_  with an indulgent recklessness, as if every part of the demon  _wanted_  Rick to cum and yet he was voicing the opposite; the opposing duel sensations were admittedly making Evil Rick’s head spin as his mind became increasingly clouded with a fog of urgent arousal and the aggressive need to release. The strike of the metal cane cut through that fog like a burst of fresh cold air, yet as the pain settled inside him it only served to thicken it, making him blinder. The first and second strike stung, but the third and fourth that landed on the same strips of skin burned like hell, a sure fire sign that the steel had burst through several layers of his broken epidermis to scar his skin and bring forth blood.

Each time the demon pressed against him to bottom out inside him, he felt the fresh pain of a new sharp and stinging blow; the ruination of his soul and skin occurring simultaneously. The forced masturbation had reached the point where his dick no longer felt like his own, numb and yet somehow wholly present, as if he couldn’t feel its edges at all now, only its painful  _needful_ core tensely knotted in his groin. He’d lost count of the number of times the steel cane had struck him, but as it came down once more on his terribly marred, bruised and beaten skin he finally cried out, just as he heard Bill speak.  _“You…..”_ He replied automatically, without even thinking, without even _caring. “YOU…it…it’s **always**  been you…”_ His voice was shaking and he’d struggled to speak at all.  _Fuck_ , he felt light headed, he simply couldn’t hold it any longer, not like he had done in the old days, he needed it, needed to explode all over the fucking place with Bill’s name burning on his lips, but he wanted permission, he  _needed_  permission and he hated himself for it. 

_“Fuck…Bill….I…I can’t…..”_

_\------------------------_

Golden eyes found themselves lost in that desperate,  _pleading_  hazel stare. Fuck, he had always been so  _weak_  for it, weak for  _any_  bit of submission that Rick was willing to give. Because he knew this man would never give it easily, and the rapacious demon wanted every part of it, to claim that side of his lover and have it all to himself. Nothing else mattered in this moment, nothing but  _him,_ but  _them,_ but the mingling scents of blood, sweat and sex between them. Bill continued to thrust his hips without haste, pressing his lips to his partner’s slick forehead as his breath became ragged. What he was doing was outright cruel to most, hell it was cruel even to Rick- to beat him so harshly and make him refrain from his own climax for this long was a balancing act on the thin line between fetish and torture. But anything less was an insult. He had something to prove, had to show the other that this would  _always_  remain the same, that nothing had changed, that Rick would  _always_  be his.

The cry of affirmation that spilled from the other’s lips awakened something in Cipher, as if that were the key to any form of softness or reverence the demon was with-holding. He let the words settle inside him, closing his eyes and enjoying the warmth that spread under his skin at their sound, the shudder that ran along his spine in time to their tempo.  _It’s **always**  been you… _How long had he waited to hear this again? How long had it been since they reveled in this brutal intimacy? He didn’t want to think about it, didn’t want to sour this moment with all of the mistakes he’d made.

The bloodied metal cane dropped to the cold concrete floor with a rattle, and in an overwhelming wave of emotion Bill’s tight grip on the other’s body gave way, allowing the both of them to collapse forward. The demon wrapped his arms around Rick’s hips, giving him support, keeping him close as he pistoned in and out of the other with new vigor and purpose. The blood was a piss-poor substitute for lube, he  _knew_  he was hurting Rick but this once,  _just this once_  he needed it to hurt, needed to make it clear that he had no intention to give this up. Not again. “ _I know,”_  he whispered in his lover’s ear. His tone was soft,  _kind_  even, showering Rick’s neck and the side of his face in deep, urgent kisses and soft bites as he ravaged his body, spit and blood-slicked length repeatedly assaulting his prostrate at a pace so fast it  _burned_  his cock. God, if the demon wasn’t careful he was afraid it’d catch fire. “ _I know. I know. I love you, Rick,”_ he growled against his skin. “ _I love you so fucking much.”_

Bill no longer moved for the intention of bombarding the other with sensation, but to instead reach his peak. He knew Evil Rick was about to explode, he could feel it, he could  _hear_  it. And he wasn’t so far off himself. He huffed out a tense breath and tried to focus on his release, closing his eyes and pressing his stomach against Rick’s sweat and blood dampened back and narrowing his mind to the singular goal of their mutual climax. Balls slapping against balls, the increasing heat of their bodies, the scarred, broken, and bruised man so obediently begging for permission beneath him and at last, the painful,  _burning_  coil tightening deep in groin. Feeling his own pent up release beginning to surface, Cipher bellowed one last command.

**_“Now!”_ **

\------------------------

As Rick heard the metal cane clatter to the ground, he dared to hope the demon might be moving away from capture directly towards release.  _Release; that_ was definitely what he needed right now, more than anything. Every part of him was spent except the part that mattered, by now he could barely speak or move, and instead merely gave out gruff growls in time to Bill’s savage thrusts. His fingertips gripped and scratched at the edges of table as the exertion required to remain standing nearly became too much when combined with the order to stave off his impending climax.

As Bill suddenly seemed to collapse against him, his stomach and chest were pressed hard and flat against the table. Instantly he groaned as that new contact and fresh pressure caused another wave of tense need to envelop him, once again threatening to overwhelm his self-imposed self-restraint. Feeling Bill’s arm snake around his stomach to provide extra support and pull him back up, he let himself fall into that steady, owning grip, quite aware that without it he’d now struggle to stand.

The demon had noticeably picked up pace, a sure fire sigh that the end was nigh; Rick continued to lean on Bill’s arm, his entire body shaking violently as Bill pushed in and slipped back out at a shocking speed Rick’s physical form simply wasn’t really designed to endure.  _Fuck_ , it was exactly what he wanted, each re-entry hurting so much more than the last, forcing him to think of nothing but the sickly sweet impossibly full, painful sensation and the equally painful denial, the submission and the control. Not Bill’s control however, his  _own_  control, over himself; something he so rarely offered anyone;  _obedience_ , he had so very little of it to offer and Bill had claimed it all.

As he heard Bill’s softer, sympathetic tone and felt the cascade of wet tense kisses that spread over his shoulders and neck, he knew he was done for. Pain, punishment, humiliation, he could take it all for the demon but add any kind of tenderness into the mix and it attacked his resolved causing it to crack and crumble.

_I love you so fucking much._

The affirmation was simply too much, pushing him too far and he could do nothing more than close his eyes tightly and let out a moan that communicated he could hold for Bill no longer, a fact displayed in every aspect of his physical demeanour from his trembling limbs to tightened jaw. “I…I…” he couldn’t form the words to return the sentiment so instead twisted his head to stare deeply and desperately at Bill, saying it all without the need for words.

_Now._

He didn’t even hear it as a word, just a noise, a noise of permit and privilege, a noise that finally allowed him to relinquish his hold on the tight coil in his gut which ached and instantly snapped under too much tension _. “Ahh…fuck…Bill…”_ They were the first and only words he’d been capable of speaking for quite some time, their tone appreciative, exhausted and utterly over aroused. With Bill pressed against his bloody sweat slick back Rick fell back down onto the table, huffing aggressive groaning open-mouthed gasps against the steamed breath-wet wood as his dick repeatedly leaped up, shooting a copious amount of thick white cum all over the floor beneath him in bursts that seemed perfectly timed to Bill’s final flourish of thrusts.

\---------------------------

The gasps and groans accompanying Rick’s release were all the demon needed, all he  _wanted_ as his thrusts became wildly quick and sloppy, golden eyes closed in intense focus to reach his own climax. God it was  _right there,_ burning white hot at the tip- part of him didn’t want this to end, but he knew it  _had to,_ knew that this was just the very beginning of many more nights with this man under him falling limp from orgasm.

The sound of his name breathed from Rick’s lips was music, a sweet symphony of gruff noises that caused the demon’s climax to crash over him in an intense wave. One final thrust, one final squeezing grip around the man’s hips and Bill’s vision blurred, balls tightening and length pulsing against the constriction of his partner’s muscles, painting Rick’s insides white in time to the spasms of release that shook his lover’s body. He pressed his weight down on the other, moaning into his skin with a stark smile on his face. It was a mingled sense of overwhelming relief, mental silence and physical bliss. Having this man shaking in his arms again had somehow erased all of his worries, even if only temporarily. All that existed now was  _them._

Soon the echos of groans and skin slapping against skin were replaced by the quiet of the new cabin and the rippling of lake shore water in the distance. Bill breathed a laugh, his prior mocking and authoritative tone now altogether more tender and gentle. And that’s when the kisses began, sweet and reverent, covering the back of Rick’s neck and shoulders. “ _I love you,”_  he whispered, repeating it so much and so fast that it were as if he didn’t say it, Rick would be ripped away from him, that all of this would be lost. He couldn’t bear the thought of it, not even in metaphors. “ _I love you Rick. I love you.”_

Pecks became nips and small bites, releasing the pressure of his teeth  _just_ before he would have drawn blood and fantasizing about all of the ways he could make him bleed,  _would_ make him in the coming years because this man was once again his. But for now… For now, Rick had bled enough.

Limbs exhausted and trembling ever so slightly, he propped himself up on his elbows, peeling their sweaty and sticky bodies apart and glancing over the other. One look at his partner’s shaking and shivering body told him that he needed to sanitize and bandage his wounds, needed to give him warmth and comfort and sustenance immediately. It had been so long since he’d engaged in aftercare with Rick. For all of the rough, sweaty, bloody sex that Cipher loved, simply holding this man was something he’d missed, something he was glad he could look forward to again. An arm slipped back under Evil Rick’s stomach, supporting his weight and holding him up. The demon’s free hand clicked with a quick little  _snap_ , and the chains and cuffs disappeared, releasing his lover’s body from the restraints of the metal and Bill’s cock at last.

“We gotta get you cleaned up… You alright? Can you stand?” He paused, thinking for a moment. “…Do you need me to carry you?”

\---------------------------

With a pool of his own seed spread all over the floor, he closed his eyes and felt Bill’s own urgently flood inside him in time to much slower and sultry thrusts. The added lubrication was admittedly an instant relief until it mingled with the ripped skin Bill had carved with his cock and started to sting like a freshly red-raw wound. Feeling the final finish spill out over the Bill’s length to drip wetly down the back of his trembling thigh, Rick huffed out a tense breath as the demon fell further against him, grinning as he listened to Bill pant out a laugh before falling silent. 

Shaking, shivering, and pressed flat to the sweat slick table, Evil Rick knew now that the restraints were the only thing holding him upright, something he was reminded of as Bill began placing trails of warm, reverent appreciative kisses up his blooded back while stilled inside him, immediately causing the old man to shudder and groan. The sharp, narrow little welts and wounds from the steel cane were cut red and rough right across his back; Bill’s lips pressed against them provided a painful kind of pleasure. Closing his eyes Rick quickly became lost in Bill’s words, words that cemented his place by Bill’s side, a repeated chant that slowly filled the demon shaped crack in his heart, a fulfilling mantra he could never get enough of.

 _“I love you too.”_  The words were spoken listlessly, their tone air light and exhausted but their meaning impossibly and deliberately heavy.  _“I….”_  teeth in the torn skin of his back severed his utterance in half as he thought about his blood on Bill’s lips, lips he couldn’t see, but could  _feel_  grinning against his broken flesh as the demon slowly slipped his engorged length out of him.  

As Bill shifted away from him Rick struggled to peel himself off the table, instantly discovering he lacked the strength; it had been taken in painful, passionate increments and he’d been left with just enough to be claimed consciously. As he inevitably faltered, he felt Bill’s arm slide around his stomach, offering some much needed support and immediately offered him a relieved smile. Hearing the familiar ‘snap’ of Bill’s fingers, he watched as the glowing cuffs around his wrists and ankles immediately evaporated before his eyes. Without them, he instantly began to fall and was forced to stretch his arm out, grappling to grab onto the demon and gain some purchase.

Can you stand?

 _“I….no.”_  His reply, which was uttered with hint of shame, only added to the sensation of ownership he’d been craving from Bill all this time, the denial of which had always burned like abandonment. Using what little strength he had left Evil Rick straightened up and loosely looped his arm around Bill’s neck; he didn’t need carried, but he  _did_  need support. _“Just…just lay me face down on the bed…”_  He replied softly as he laid his head to rest it on Bill’s shoulder, clearly too exhausted to hold it high.  _“Then you can clean up the mess you’ve made; the blood dripping down my back and the cum dripping down my thighs….”_  Tilting his head he caught Bill’s eye and offered him a grossly satisfied grin as he took a moment to admire him. “ _…you beautiful sick fuck.”_

_\----------------------_

The image settling in the demon’s mind was all too enticing- Rick lying on his stomach and smiling as he closed his sleepy eyes, Bill sitting beside him dabbing his wounds clean with a warm cloth, the pair of them wrapped in utter silence and broken only by the occasional bout of pillow talk. Though such conversations had always ended with one of them spouting some underhanded insult and being shoved off the bed. Serious affection could only last so long between the two of them, but Cipher wouldn’t have it any other way.

Being called a  _beautiful sick fuck_ only served to stroke the sadistic God’s ego. And Rick’s grin, one of utter satisfaction and unadulterated filth, only served to make his own grow wider. Allowing the other to put his weight on him was, admittedly, an  _unwise_ idea. The Vicodin would muffle the pain for now, but give or take a few minutes after a short trip up the stairs, Bill would be throwing back half a bottle. He wasn’t in one of his younger puppets any more, this one was considerably more fragile due to its conditions, as much as he hated to admit it. But he’d never get rid of it, he wouldn’t dare. Not until he had exhausted it fully.

Leaning his face down to meet the other, Cipher pressed their lips together in a long, gentle kiss. Even tasting this man was enough to re-tighten the coil in his gut, begging,  _aching_  for another brutal release. But his muscles refused, sore from exertion and all too ready to collapse in the bed alongside Rick.  He pulled away, an obvious smile on his face as the other rested his head against him. Once again this man was his to make a mess of, once again he’d  _claimed_ any shred of obedience Rick could muster for himself. “Well then, we better get you upstairs old timer.” He couldn’t hold back the giggle that escaped his lips, offering the other a cheeky little wink before pulling him closer into his side, holding him tight and heading towards the flight of stairs with his usual limping gait.

He led them into the room,  _their_ room for the very first time- a magnificent lake view paired with a massive king-sized bed, pristine cotton sheets never used nor washed. But they would become worn in time- by sleepy morning sex, by late night conversations, and more often than not by this,  _by recovery._ He guided his partner to the inviting mattress, step after limping step, easing him off the hold around the demon’s neck and lying him face-down onto the covers. “You sit tight. I’ll get a towel.”

\--------------------------------

Evil Rick smiled against the demon’s mouth as he was drawn into a decidedly tender kiss. How many times over the past few decades had he found himself in this same position; draped over Bill, wholly reliant and too weak to stand? God, so very, very many, bleeding out after a battle, or an intensely volatile sexual encounter or simply being too drunk to do anything more than apologise and breathe. The demon had known him at his very best and his very worst, his strongest and his weakest, his most powerful and his most self-pitying and here he was  _still_  holding him,  _still_ by his side… _still._   

As they entered the bedroom he froze for a moment, looking out over the vast lake before turning to look at the freshly made bed. He hadn’t slept a full night in a bed with Bill since New Orleans;  _Christ_ , that seemed so long ago now. It felt like a lifetime ago, it  _ached_  like a lifetime ago. Recalling the trip he immediately made a mental note to fetch a coffee for Bill in the morning, without it the demon was a literal nightmare. 

As he was lowered onto the bed he collapsed against the soft mattress, face pushed into a pillow, smiling as some of the strain immediately melted from his aching muscles. 

 _“A towel…_ ” He repeated listlessly, shifting against the bed covers and enjoying the new warmth.  _“Bring me some of your Vicodin too.”_  He shouted towards the hall as an afterthought,  _fuck_ , he needed it, everything ached, most notably his ass, although quite what a towel could do about that particular pain he was not quite sure. Leaning over he opened the bedside table and retrieved his cigarettes, slipping one between his lips he sucked back the soul quenching smoke with a smile; post coital cigarettes were  _always_  the best.  Easing himself up onto his elbows, still splayed across the bed on his stomach, he pulled over an empty ashtray and sighed with satisfaction. _“I think you fucking punctured me…”_ He called through to the next room.  _“That makes it my turn to top tomorrow.”_ He added with a self-amused chuckle.

\-----------------------------

One by one he searched every inch of the bathroom and collected all he’d need: a small first aid kit he’d found in one of the cabinets, his Vicodin tablets, some ointment, and a couple of small hand towels which he proceeded to douse in warm water and some tiny dollops of soap before wringing them out. Hearing Rick call to him from the other side of the wall made a smile spread across the demon’s face. “Your  _turn?_ What are we, five?” Reaching for a glass and filling it with cold water, he shouted back to the other. “You can top when you manage to pin me down, tough guy. Besides, what if I had plans to go easy on you tomorrow? All sweet pet names and lots of lube.” He chuckled to himself at the thought; gentle sex and  _making love_  was sparse in their decades-long history. Cipher adored their moments of tenderness just as he did the rough and raunchy ones, especially moments like  _this_.

Light, limping footsteps padded across the bathroom tile floor and out into the bedroom, the demon taking a deep breath as the scent of smoke greeted him. Bill set down the water and two pills on the bedside table, grabbing the cigarette from Rick’s hand to suck the little remaining life out of it before extinguishing it on the ashtray. He leaned forward, the smoldering scent of tobacco and nicotine still heavy on his lips as he caught his lover in a long, deep, sweet kiss, searching with a single hand for his [glasses](http://bill-rick.tumblr.com/post/158624848496/nestyanyan-chance-105) in the drawer. 

Easing himself down onto the edge of the mattress beside his partner, Bill scrunched up the tip of a damp towel, dabbing gently against the reddened, bruised and bloodied surface of Rick’s broken skin. He began cleaning the other’s lower back, slowly making his way down to the tender flesh of his rear with soft, reverent strokes. “Christ… I did a number on you, didn’t I?” He breathed a laugh, breaking his steady pace of wiping blood only once to push his specs back up along the bridge of his nose. Every motion of Cipher’s hands communicated the stark opposite of what they had only moments ago; meticulous, thoughtful,  _empathetic,_ as he moved with a softness that he shared only with those incredibly intimate with him- a softness he shared with  _Rick._

Bill peered up every so often from behind the black frame of his glasses, watching Evil Rick’s expression carefully. “Let me know if anything stings.”

\------------------------------

 _“All sweet pet names and lots of lube?”_  He repeated incredulously, watching as Bill extinguished his cigarette. He eased into the long hungry kiss tasting the salty scent of sex that still lingered on Bill’s breath. _“Is that you hinting that you want me to soft top tomorrow sugar tits? Have me slide into you slow and tell you how devastatingly pretty you are each time I graze your prostrate?”_  The old man burst out laughing as he considered it then moaned as his stomach muscles immediately groaned in protest. 

Placing his head back down on the pillow, he twisted it to the side so he could still see Bill, smiling as he watched the demon fuss with his glasses. Evil Rick had switched to contacts some time ago, a rare act of ego spurred on by his Morty telling him that his glasses made him look really old.He only used them in the lab now when working on circuit boards….God that kid was such a little asshole. 

 _“You did.”_  he sighed with an exhausted sense of satisfaction as he closed his eyes and concentrated on the sensations of the cold cloth taking the heat from some of his red raw wounds. _“But this…”_  Burying his head into the pillow for a moment he feel silent as if ashamed to speak when he finally turned back to glance at Bill he had a strangely thankful expression. “ _…I missed this.”_

He exhaled deeply as his old bones melted into the mattress and he finally felt completely relaxed. He’d chosen not to define what he had meant by “ _this_ ” but he had certainly not meant the sex, it was something far more complex than that. He’d spent so long resenting Bill and actively trying to hurt him, while still, much to his detriment loving him. It had felt like a cancer, something within him he’d been expected to eradicate, something that shouldn’t have endured after all this time, after all this hurt. In a matter of days that black tumour that weighed so heavily on his heart had been transformed and it took a tender moment such as this for him to truly realise it. He considered voicing it, but it felt too complicated for his exhausted mind to put into words so instead he locked eyes with Bill and let his mind fall open, exposing his thoughts like the scribbled pages of a secret book previously sealed. When he finally spoke his voice was hoarse and rough.[ _“I have always loved you…”_](http://t.umblr.com/redirect?z=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.youtube.com%2Fwatch%3Fv%3DmdtUR_KibEs%26list%3DPLkSfI7V7sT5JfnwzLzDt33XtjgPuyJ1tX%26index%3D31&t=NjVjODJkZTEwZTNlNmZmYmQwYzc0Y2ZmMGJjY2I2OTk4NTE4YjRlYSxnZEFKMXFKSg%3D%3D&b=t%3Ae08tys6qmBclck560OCkag&p=http%3A%2F%2Fevilgsanchez.tumblr.com%2Fpost%2F158965942287%2Fan-embarking&m=1)He exhaled sharply and continued to hold the demon’s gaze.[ _“Even when I hated you.”_](http://t.umblr.com/redirect?z=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.youtube.com%2Fwatch%3Fv%3D0AKCne5vvaQ%26list%3DPLkSfI7V7sT5JfnwzLzDt33XtjgPuyJ1tX%26index%3D32&t=ZWI1ZWQ1NDU0NDczMzg0NTlmNWQ0MjI0ZTk4OGQxZjkyNWI0MTA0YixnZEFKMXFKSg%3D%3D&b=t%3Ae08tys6qmBclck560OCkag&p=http%3A%2F%2Fevilgsanchez.tumblr.com%2Fpost%2F158965942287%2Fan-embarking&m=1)

\---------------------

The demon’s golden gaze held Rick’s stare from behind his glasses, a small smile pulling at the corners of his mouth. “…I missed this too.”  _This_ was ever-enduring,  _this_  was the first meaningful relationship Bill had let himself build and become vulnerable to in trillions of years, since the death of his brother, since the death of Nora.  _This_  was the longest companionship Cipher had ever allowed himself in his eons-long life. And to think that he had tried to give it up, tried to bury it… He would never forgive himself for that. After all he and Evil Rick had been through, how could he?

_I have always loved you… Even when I hated you._

Bill fell utterly silent when he heard the breathless confession, the content expression on his face slowly fading. For a few long moments, it seemed as though the demon was  _avoiding_  any type of response. It was a statement that Cipher had trouble processing with his few shreds of emotional intelligence. He averted his eyes, focusing on the task at hand, sanitizing Rick’s wounds and carefully dressing the broken patches and streaks of skin in gauze. And in the meanwhile, he thought of all the times he had torn this man apart and never helped him back on his feet. They broke through his thoughts one by one, memories of him  _convincing_  Evil Rick that he no longer loved him,  _denying_  him for another… Beating him into a bloody pulp on the floor of his lair over someone who was, at the time,  _a stranger. **How could the omniscient still be so blind? How could the gatekeeper of the secrets of the universe still be so ignorant?**_

He tried to shake away the memories,  but their ghosts remained, haunting him and prompting him to drop the first aid kit once he was done and crawl onto the bed with his longtime friend, his longtime  _love._ Billwrapped an arm around Rick’s waist, gently pulling him back into his chest, enveloping the man in the intense heat of his body. The demon’s lips pressed against his partner’s shoulder, ginger and light yet still heavy with the weight of Rick’s statement. After all of the mistakes he had made, all the bullshit he had put Evil Rick through year after year, he still remained. All he could feel was remorse,  _guilt_ about how he had taken advantage of this man and his devotion again and  _again_ and  ** _again._**

“I’ve always loved you, I will always love you. I could never hate you.” His voice had softened, cracked, managing a pitch that could only reach the volume of a hoarse whisper. “Even when I tried… Even when I thought it was for the best… But I never blamed you for hating me. I knew that if you did… I deserved it, after everything…”

Warm hands held him tighter, coaxing Rick to melt into Cipher’s arms. “…Thank you for waiting for me to come back.  _Thank you for taking me back.”_

_\----------------_

The minute the words left his mouth he regretted them, he seemed unable to separate the two emotions, the heat of their reuniting made tepid by his resentment;  _ruined_. He hated himself for it, hated his inability to just appreciate the moment, appreciate it for what it was without tainting it with the memory of his replacement, his  _rejection_. For years he had felt haunted by it and only now knew for certain that exorcism could only be found in the demon’s embrace.

Cipher’s silence shocked his system more than any shrieked scream and he felt instantly drowned by it, a strange sickness curling in his stomach as he waited for Bill’s reaction; it was too late to take it back, the demon could always reach his hidden truths, it was one of the reasons he _loved_ him.

He lay quietly as Bill continued to clean his wounds, the silence continuing to stifle him;  _Christ_ , their first night in their new hideaway and he’d already managed to spoil it with own his caustic jealousy and corrosive self-pity. He stilled the moment he heard Bill drop the first aid box, only easing as he felt the demon slide into the bed beside him and draw him close, Bill’s warmth providing an extra comfort to his aching limbs.

He shuddered a smile as he felt the demon kiss a slow trail up his shoulder, across the marred multitude of shrapnel scars he’d earned during their time together in Vegas, on a day that had changed his life;  _both_  of their lives.

Rick was about to speak when Bill finally uttered the words he had waited years to hear again, knowing  _this_  time they were the truth, knowing this time Bill wasn’t thinking about what was best for anyone else but them _, finally_. Part of him had always known Bill still loved him, even when the demon had beaten him black and blue on his own lab floor and damn near killed him, he’d seen it; seen signs that the demon was punishing them both, punishing them because this destruction had been destined to happen from the start and there was nothing either of them could do about it; they were supposed to be together whatever devastation that brought. Rick had always expected to wake one day in the ashes of his own self-decimated life, he’d simply hoped Bill would always be the one to wrench him from the burned wreck.

 _“We both tried…”_ he whispered, shuffling forward to close the gap remaining between them, no longer caring about the pain of his ripped, ravaged skin or the state of the bedsheets. As he was fully enveloped in the demon’s embrace he huffed out a tense breath, Bill was thanking him for taking him back, but it had  _never_  been a choice, it had always been an inevitability.

 _“You don’t, don’t need to…you didn’t deserve it…”_  Pulling back, he softly clasped his hands to either side of the demon’s face.  _“This…”_  Leaning in he laced a hungry trail of wet kisses up Bill’s throat before claiming his mouth for a brief moment in a hard, deep kiss. Opening his eyes he tilted his head back to capture Bill’s bright gaze.  _“…this is what you deserve.”_

_\--------------------_

After all of the terrible things he had done in his eons-long lifespan, all of the terrible things he had put  _this man_  through in the last four decades, Bill had always found absolution in Rick’s touch. It reached into the very depths of his dark heart, wrapping around the beating muscle and wringing it dry,  _releasing him_  of any weight of his guilt. He sighed as the other kissed a line up his throat. “Rick… Don’t… Just let me-…” The kiss had silenced him before he could finish his sentence, momentarily losing his train of thought to the tender brush of their lips. When they pulled apart, Bill’s hand rose to his lover’s cheeks, brushing strands of stray blue hair out of Rick’s face.

“I don’t deserve  _you_. After all I’ve done to you, all I’ve put you through… I never deserved you, Rick… But I want to change that.  _I do_.”

A warm palm wrapped around the back of his partner’s head, coaxing him to lean forward, to press their foreheads together as the demon took a deep breath, aureate pools never averting from the wide hazel eyes gazing upon him. He offered Evil Rick a little smile, thumb stroking through the other’s messy locks of hair as he gathered his thoughts. Their night of rediscovery had been a pure act of unadulterated honesty. Cipher was a liar by his very nature, but lying to this man had always left a heavy weight on the shred of his remaining conscience. He never wanted to taint Rick’s trust in him again.

“I don’t want to run from this anymore… I don’t want to keep punishing you for all of my mistakes. I don’t  _want_  this to be something we just keep coming back to on and off. I don’t want our relationship to  _be_  on and off…” He paused, swallowing. “It’s my fault that we’re like this because I… I wasn’t honest with you. I wasn’t honest with a  _lot_  of people, but you… You deserve the truth. You  _always_ deserve the truth. Before anyone else.”

The demon breathed a laugh, pressing his lips to the bridge of Rick’s nose. It felt like  _ages_  since he’d shown his longtime partner this much reverence, tenderness,  _love._ And its restoration had made Bill realize just how  _miserable_  he had been without  _this_ , without the missing jagged-edge puzzle piece of their relationship.

“…Ricky, I’m not gonna leave you anymore. I can’t. Maybe all of those times I figured you were better off without me, all those times I thought I was making a mess of our lives and you just didn’t realize it… Maybe I was right, but doing the right thing kills me. I’m too much of a selfish piece of shit for that. I  _always_ have been… Fuck, you  _make_  me selfish.”

Another pause. Another deep breath.  _Christ_  he was terrible at explaining himself.

“What I mean is… I love you.  _I’m yours to keep from now on, Rick._[ ** _I’ll follow you anywhere._**](http://t.umblr.com/redirect?z=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.youtube.com%2Fwatch%3Fv%3DYJsF7sHpaPs&t=OTU2MTBlMjQ0ZGJlY2ZjZWMxZWM4Mzc5ZDk2ZjVkNjllNWMyZmJiMyxnZEFKMXFKSg%3D%3D&b=t%3Ae08tys6qmBclck560OCkag&p=http%3A%2F%2Fevilgsanchez.tumblr.com%2Fpost%2F159900550692%2Fan-embarking&m=1)”

\---------------------

Leaning into the warm touch of Bill’s fingers lightly twisting in his wiry, unruly strands of hair, Rick hummed a tired and contented smile. He could sense the renewed conviction in Bill, _feel_  it in his touch,  _see_  it in his smile and for the first time in a long time, he allowed himself to believe it; to believe that this time they would make it work, despite the odds against it. Bill had always been the one to leave but Rick had frequently pushed him into it, driving the demon away because he believed it was the best thing for both of them, because they were making each other so God Damn miserable. He’d lost so many years with Bill, so much time spent fighting, so many wasted years deciding he’d changed too much for them to ever regain what they’d once had. When Bill had returned from the mindscape, Evil Rick had felt like a shadow of his former self, the brightness of his youth was gone,  _stolen_  and a darkness had settled in him which was not the kind he’d been able to share or even explain. Bill deserved technicolour, not the faded, broken man he’d become. His feeling of being  _changed_ in Bill’s absence had only grown twisted over the years combining with his resentment to thicken into a deep-set stifling sense of blame. He’d blamed Bill, blamed him so much that even when the demon had explained he had been trapped, unable to reach him, he’d  _still_ blamed him for it, unable to shift a belief formed over decades and resident at his very core. It was only in the demon’s arms that the burden of that belief was ever lifted.

By the time he’d come to terms with himself and how he’d changed, their mutually agreed separation had spanned years and Bill had found another, the sad irony of that fact had nearly killed him and had poisoned what remained of their friendship, forcing Rick into a position of denial; forcing him to bury his love for Bill. Even when pushed down to the very depths of him, he’d still felt its constant empty ache, the pain reaching its pinnacle when the demon had announced his engagement.  He wanted to believe Bill had suffered the same loss, but the demon had always been better at hiding his feelings and his secrets and so Rick had always believed he’d suffered alone, cast aside, passed-over and  _replaced_.

 _“I want you to be selfish…”_  The words were uttered softly against Bill’s face as he took a moment to fully accept the weight of the demon’s words. He’d been promised many things over the years, and many of those promises had been broken, but this, this felt like more than a promise, it felt like a vow.  _“…and I never want you to leave again.”_  Sliding his hands up Bill’s face and through his hair he pulled the demon to him.  _“It will never be on and off…”_  He smiled at Bill, passing his hand down his arm to entwine his fingers with the demon’s own.  _“…because even when it was off, it was always on.”_

Huffing out a tense breath, he felt that familiar weight being lifted as he shifted into Bill’s arms.  _“I’ll never let you go again.”_  He affirmed, pressing himself hard against the demon despite the ache in his exhausted limbs and sting in his torn up back.  _“I love you too much to ever let you go again.”_

_\--------------------_

_I want you to be selfish…_  How he’d missed those words, how he’d missed the hoarse voice that spoke them. The demon mirrored Rick’s smile, yellow eyes glancing briefly to their fingers now laced together. It was such a simple gesture, and still for them it carried an unfathomable amount of weight. 

Bill had tried to find what he thought he had lost in another- another  _version_  of his love, another  _type,_ believing that somehow, someway it could be the same, or at the very least  _similar_. For as wise and all-knowing as he claimed to be, he felt the burden of his own mistakes, his own ignorance in this moment. This could not be copied, could not be replaced, could not be found in any one else.  _Nothing_  would ever match the gravity or significance of his first love. He had committed so much to this man… Committed more to him even than his own spouse. And like the monster he was he felt neither guilt or remorse for it. Rick had absolved him of it. The time had come to be who he was again after pretending to be someone else for so long, pretending to  _belong_  to someone else for so long.

He welcomed Rick into his embrace, holding him tight against his own warm body and sighing contently. It had been a long time since the demon felt this loved, this light…  _Too long._ He felt like a man starved,  _famished_  for this affection. That single thought stood at the forefront of his mind, a  _demanding_  echo that silenced any other inner voice, one that coaxed tears to form at the corner of his eyes. You never know what you had until it’s gone, or so the old saying usually went. But Bill now realized that, if whatever you lost finds its way back to you, you certainly learned to appreciate it  _much more._

Breathing a laugh and blinking away the glossy film clouding his yellow eyes, Bill kissed the top of his lover’s head, his grip on Rick’s hand growing  _tighter._ “Good…. Because if you  _do_  let me go again, it might just be the only thing capable of killing me.”

His gaze fell again to their hands- he had been stripped of even these small acts of intimacy, ones lacking in what he had found but ever-present in what he had been looking for, had been trying to get back. And Cipher was overjoyed to have it back again. “… I love you too, Rick. I promise I’ll be better. [ _I’ll do better._](http://t.umblr.com/redirect?z=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.youtube.com%2Fwatch%3Fv%3D7egYKkIKqDs&t=NTVjZDViOGYyMGEyZmRjNDE2MzU3YmZkMjhlOWIzZjhmZTA4MmMwYyxnZEFKMXFKSg%3D%3D&b=t%3Ae08tys6qmBclck560OCkag&p=http%3A%2F%2Fevilgsanchez.tumblr.com%2Fpost%2F159945227812%2Fan-embarking&m=1) _”_

_\---------------_

_“We both will.”_

\--------------

**END**

**Author's Note:**

> The thread / fic which takes place after this is "Beside You." In the aftermath of their reunion Evil Rick and his husband Rocker Rick "the kid" decide to separate and spend some time apart. In addition, Bill decides to leave his husband entirely. The next thread explores this.


End file.
